[Today is a guest post by finance blogger Carrie Smith.]
Some people can weather failure better than others, but I’m not one of them. It takes me a long time to work up the courage to try something new, and if I fail I will be even more careful in the future.
That’s not a good way to approach life, and I’ve been diligently working to change that for several years. It’s been a little over 2 years since my divorce. We were high school sweethearts, and I was madly in love with him from the moment I met him.
We thought we were the perfect dream team, but we didn’t take our relationship seriously, and all the pressures of life caved in on us. The biggest thing I’ve realized, while I may have been very naive, is that I gave up too quickly.
The vows of marriage should not be taken lightly. Many things in life, especially relationships, take work, dedication and trust, all of which I didn’t fully understand. Here are the biggest lessons I’ve learned on my journey.
Take your time
Whether it’s committing to a relationship or new job, or trying to get over a failed one, you have to take your time. You don’t want to make any rash decisions, or commit to something you might regret later. Only now, am I able to think clearly about the whole situation and everything that went on. I’m learning not to let other people’s views tell me what I should or shouldn’t do with my life.
Forgive yourself for any failures
Maybe you’ve lost your job, have a failed relationship or are just trying to cope. Before you can move on you need to accept the failure, and forgive yourself. This step took me many, many months to come to terms with. I felt like a huge mid-quarter life mess and screw up. I had to stop denying the truth, and forgive myself for all my failures.
Take personal accountability
Everyday we interact with all kinds of people, our co-workers, our spouse and our kids. It’s a two-way street, and we are ALL at fault in some way. Taking personal accountability for your actions will help to identify specific problems and work towards a solution. Otherwise you will keep blaming others, and continue to repeat your mistakes.
Don’t let the past dictate your future
It’s easy to give up on the future and to just make do, but that’s not living life, that’s surviving. Learn to grow, mature and progress from your past failures. Don’t let your mistakes dictate your future. All it takes is a choice, to feel the fear and do it anyway.
Learn to live and love again
I was constantly punishing myself and didn’t feel that I deserved to live a good life post-divorce. It took a lot of work, but I finally got to the place where I wanted to enjoy life again. No one judges you like you judge yourself.
Don’t be afraid to live again and to open your heart to love and to new adventures. A new relationship or a new career path is a great opportunity to do things right, to use the past as a guide, and create a successful future.
You’re not a loser, and you are not a complete failure. Take your time, learn to forgive yourself, push past the fear and choose to live an epic life.
Your life is valuable and you are worth it.
Carrie Smith, is the genius behind the Careful Cents personal finance blog. She’s a Certified Bookkeeper and Financial writer that is learning to live life to the fullest. She’s also a career junkie, social media addict, debt hater and food lover.