A Letter to Those Who Feel Hopeless About Life

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This is a letter for that person who feels stuck in life and feels hopeless. That person who doesn’t know if life will get better. That person who’s been trying to make a change for so long, but hasn’t been able to. 

If that’s you, you’re not alone and I’m writing this to you.

To my friend,

I know things have been tough lately. Every day feels the same and you want to scream from the top of your lungs because it sucks. Every day you feel like you’re on a downward spiral. You just hope that your life starts to change real soon. Thoughts of suicide have crossed your mind because then you wouldn’t feel like this anymore, but just know there is much more to life than you have now.

It does get better if you want it to.

I was once you. I searched for what was the one thing I was supposed to do with my life. I was looking for a career not just a job. I thought by the time I graduated college I was supposed to know. When I turned 30 I still had no idea and wondered what was the heck wrong with me. I felt like if I knew what I wanted to do with my life everything would be better. Everything else would fall into place. I’d get married, have a nice house, have kids, and live happily ever after. Once I discovered what IT was, that’s what I’d be doing for the rest of my life. That’s how life goes, right?

I’ve learned that life doesn’t have to be about finding that one thing you’re meant to do and then do it forever. Some people do find that one thing and dedicate their whole lives because they love it. I’ve realized that isn’t for me at this moment. I am done searching for it too.

To me life is about exploring everything out there. It’s trying different things and putting more attention on certain ones. There’s so much out there that it’d be a shame to not have more than one interest. Is what I’m doing now what I’ll be doing forever? No, but I’ve found something that I enjoy at this moment. I know new opportunities will present itself and my need for a new challenge will come along. Who knows what I’ll be doing five years from now, but for now, I like what I do and have stopped searching for the meaning of life.

If you don’t know what you want to do with your life, it’s okay! The answer doesn’t come to you at a specific time. Some find it when they’re a child. Others discover it after they’ve had three children. Some go through ten different jobs before finding one that is right for them. It doesn’t matter if you’re 21, 41 or anywhere in between. It’s never too late to start going for what you want. Even if someone is 41, they’re still pretty young. The average life expectancy for an American is 78.5 years. At 41, you’ve only lived 52% of your life. That’s it. You still have 48% of your life left to do what makes you truly happy. That’s still a lot of time.

However a better life isn’t going to be found watching television, keeping up with Honey Boo-Boo or the Kardashians, mindlessly surfing the internet, or checking Facebook every five minutes. It’s not found sitting on the couch after work every night or drinking your sorrows away every weekend with your buddies. Your life won’t improve if you constantly feel sorry for yourself or rely on others to make it better for you.

Nor is a better life going to happen instantly. We’re used to wanting everything quicker. We want to reach our destination as fast as possible. We want our internet speeds to be lightening quick. We want our food fast. This obsession with speeds translates to the results we want. Marketers know that so they blast us with headlines like “Make money quick!” or “Lose weight fast and easy!”

Your life isn’t going to change by clicking your heels together. I had always hoped it would be that easy! I wanted it to be like the movies. My rise from the lowest point in my life to the top would be in under 2 hours and I’d get the girl at the end. There is no quick fix in the real world. I hate to break it to you, but you’re not going to lose all the weight you want in two weeks and keep it off forever. You’re not going to forever eliminate years of bad habits in a month. You’re not going to have $100,000 in a year if your bank account only has $100 now. You’re not going to build an online business making $1,000 a week working only four hours with no skills and no money to start.

So what will it take? I know you don’t want to hear it, but it’s going to take one day at a time. You need to start making deliberate choices and stop sleepwalking through life. What’s even worse is you will be doing things you should be doing on a consistent basis and you’re not going to see any results or feel any different. I know that’s frustrating. This is where most people quit. They feel the work they’re putting in is a waste of time. They quit the gym after a month. They stop selling after only a few sales. So they quit and go back to their average life and continue to blame and point fingers at others for their misery.

I don’t want that to be you. Okay? When you’re doing the right things, keep doing it. Small consistent actions over time will produce tremendous results. Anything you truly want in your life isn’t going to come easy. It’s how life works. Life is testing you to see how bad you want it. It’ll weed out the weak ones and only the determined will survive and be handsomely rewarded.

What if you don’t know how to do what you want to do? It’s very easy. Open up a new tab in your browser and go to Google.com. There will probably be 1,809,384,908 results, but start at the beginning. Whatever it is you want to achieve has very likely been done by someone else.

Another solution is to go to Amazon.com. I bet anything you want to learn has been written about. Buy a book, read it, and apply what you learn. Don’t just read it and put it away. Highlight the heck out of that book too. So when you need to go back , you’ll have the most important parts highlighted.

If you don’t want to spend money on a book, go to your local library. Haven’t been there since college? It looks the same, but instead of cute young co-eds, it’s mostly going to be older people reading the free magazines. That’s okay cause you will be looking for books. Find books on what you want to learn how to do. Don’t highlight in them though, but do take notes.

There are a bunch of free and paid resources online where you can learn. Check out free podcasts on iTunes. Take a course on Udemy.com.

However, I think you actually don’t need any more information. You know everything you should be doing, but you just haven’t done it.

Why not? Here is my guess.

You’re waiting for that magical moment, a burst of motivation, the right time, the right person, the right day, more money, or next year. You’re waiting for someone to tell you it’s okay to start. You’re waiting for more knowledge. You want to be perfect before you even begin.

Let me use a quote by Jim Carrey from the Cable Guy to sum up my point, “He who hesitates, masturbates.”

The guy eyeing the cute girl is definitely be going home alone if he practices the conversation in his head, waits for the right moment to go, waits for confidence, has another beer, rehearses what will say again, checks his breath, and waits for her friends to leave. By then he’ll hesitate for so long he’ll reject himself before even trying.

That’s like life too. The longer you wait the longer you go back to your regular life of the same old shit.

It’s okay if something you want to do is not a priority right now. Maybe you’ve got a lot going on already. Just adding more stuff to do spreads yourself thin. At least you’re doing something you truly want and not just sitting around twirling your thumbs. (Reorganizing your desk to avoid doing what you need to do doesn’t count as having a lot going on either.)

If you know you should be doing it, but you’re not then that’s a different story. I can’t come over there and knock on your door to make sure you start. Nor can I constantly be looking over your shoulder to make sure you’re not on Facebook again or looking at pictures of cute dogs. Your parents aren’t going to tell you either. I bet you’d rather NOT have your parents tell you what to do anymore. You’re an adult now and it’s time to grow up and make your own decisions. Your girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife/partner is there to support you (I hope), but they’re not going to be able to do it for you. If you want to get into shape, they can’t do your pushups for you.

The person that is going to be responsible for everything you want to create in your life is that face you see in the mirror every single day. It’s that good looking face you see. It’s the one who had big hopes and dreams, but got lost after years of self-doubt and trying to making others happy. The one with so much potential waiting to be unleashed. When you need to be reminded who’s gonna save your life, look at yourself in the mirror. Nobody else will so stop looking around.

No amount of reading, thinking, hoping, and praying is going to help you. It’s more about doing, failing, adjusting, believing, and doing again.

Who cares if you fail? It’s not the end of the world. If you fail at least you tried. However this is very important. Don’t begin with the attitude that you will fail because you’re just setting yourself up to fail. You won’t try that hard and when you do fail you’ll say to yourself, “I was right.”

There isn’t one person who’s had success in life who hasn’t failed at all. Successful people take risks. Sometimes they work out and sometimes they don’t. They don’t let their failures define them. If they move on and find success, no one’s going to remember the failures.

And don’t wait for luck either. Luck is an awesome thing, but if you’re waiting for luck to come you’re going to be waiting a long time. By that time, you’ll feel lucky to just wake up every morning.

Luck happens to people who do the work to create the opportunity, then take advantage of it when it finds them. Once you start taking massive action on your life, luck will come find you.

You’re not unlucky in life either despite what you believe. You’ve just made a series of poor choices which seemed so tiny at the time, but have compounded to crappy results. Then your belief is that you’re unlucky so that’s what you’ll keep brining into your life.

You can start to change that immediately by believing the world is doing great things for you and you can’t wait to see what they are. Seriously you should say that to yourself every day and believe it. It’s true! Why is the world out to do you harm? It’s not. It’s an equal opportunity employer. It doesn’t discriminate. It’s filled with everything you want, but you have to go look for it. With that positive attitude, you’re going to find a $10 bill on the ground while the unlucky person will walk right by it.

I know you told me you’re busy and you don’t have much time to do anything. I bet you do have some time during your day. Take a look at what unproductive activities you do. Are you checking email five times an hour? Do you have ten browsing tabs open? Do you take a quick peek at social media and end up spending thirty minutes? What do you do at nights? Can you wake up earlier? Think about outsourcing some tasks. I know you can find time during the day. We all have the same 24 hours yet there are people who can do more in one day than some in one month.

Again, go to Google or read a book about how you can increase your productivity. There are so many different systems out there. You just have to try it out until you find one that is the right fit for you. It’s like dating but much easier to break up with if you’re not pleased.

Don’t worry about what’s going to happen either when you start on your dreams. Fear stops so many from doing what they should be doing. Anything you do that’s new is going to have some level of fear because you don’t know how it will turn out. What usually happens is you imagine all these worst case scenarios in your mind.

Nothing you imagine in your mind is going to be as bad as what might actually happen. Our minds have some vivid imaginations and does a great job of creating wacky scenarios. Have you ever woke up from the weird dreams? Of course you have. Crazy mind at work. Don’t believe it.

Instead try and think best case scenarios. What would happen if you achieved your goals? How would your life look every day? How would you feel? How much money would you be earning? What type of people would you be surrounded be? Where would you go on vacation? How great would life finally be?

If you think about the unknown that way, you’ll feel more inspired and motivated to do it.

Isn’t that kind of life worth trying for? I know for me it’s worth the risk, hard work, and sacrficies. It hasn’t been all easy either. All those people you want to be like haven’t had it all easy. You see the success. That’s what you want. There’s a million things that went on behind the scenes. You don’t know that they thought about quitting many times. You don’t know how many rejections they had. Some may have even gone bankrupt but still found success later on.

You know what else? They were beginners at one point. They didn’t know everything. They’ve messed up along the way. They may have been unsure what the future held for them, but what they did have was belief. They felt so certain about what they wanted to do that no matter what got in their way they did it. Walt Disney, Henry Ford, Thomas Edison and Steve Jobs could have quit many times from all the people who told them they were crazy with their big ideas. They’ve had failures. They’ve had massive rejections. History doesn’t focus on that. We just remember their achievements.

Your goals may not be as big as creating a theme park or building a device that changes our lives and that’s okay. As long as it comes from you. Not just a goal that seems interesting, but one that keeps you up at night. A goal that consumes your soul and you’d be willing to do anything to achieve it. Don’t set a goal that someone else wants you to do either. You’re not going to be excited about it and if you do achieve it, you’re going to hate life more and more with every passing day.

Whatever you want to achieve in life isn’t meaningless. If you want to be an expert on butterflies that’s great. Everyone has a place in this world and it needs some experts in butterflies. That can be you! I just don’t want you to think your goals are silly. They are your goals so they are serious. Whatever your goal is, I know if you achieved it, it would be like winning the lottery. I know that’s how you’d feel. So there aren’t any silly goals.

If you told me your goals, I’d treat you like a little child who thinks anything is possible. I will say it sounds great and you can do it because that’s what I believe. Why else would I say otherwise? I’m not here to crush your dreams. Who am I to belittle them? They are your dreams. Not mine. I want to see people doing what they love. When more people are, it makes the world a better place.

Our lives aren’t pre-determined. People who only knew about poverty as a child have become billionaires. While other people, who were born in million dollar mansions, have grown up addicted to drugs and in and out of jail. So get rid of that belief. Whatever your life is like now isn’t what it will be like if you have any control over it and guess what? You do! You have so much power and you don’t even know it. Your lack of skill and natural ability can be made up with hard work and determination.

If I asked you how bad do you want it a better life, what will you say? You might say you really do, but do you really? Are you willing to make that commitment?

In the book The Element, author Ken Robinson recalls a story that put into perspective his level of commitment. After listening to his brother perform in a band one night, Ken complimented the extremely talented keyboard player named Charles.

Then I said that I’d love to be able to play keyboards that well. “No, you wouldn’t,” he responded. Taken aback, I insisted that I really would. “No,” he said. “You mean you like the idea of playing keyboards. If you’d love to play them, you’d be doing it.”

Charles practiced every day for three or four hours in addition to performing. He’d been doing that since he was seven. That’s why he played so well. Suddenly, Ken felt that playing the keyboards that well didn’t seem so appealing.

Liking the idea and being committed are two completely different things.

People who like the idea of making money online, just read about making money online. Committed ones put what they learn into action. The idea of a writing for a living sounds good to many. Committed ones live and breath writing. The idea of losing 20 sounds great. The committed ones actually do it.

What happens now after you read this letter is up to you. You can put it away, continue with what you were previously doing, and forget you read this. Or you can re-read it and let the words really sink in and take a deeper look at yourself and wonder if what you’re doing now is right for you. Is it leading you on the path where you want to go? Are you making the right daily choices? Will you have a life full of regret when you’re on your deathbed?

You can do something about it. You always have a choice. It doesn’t matter what happened before. What’s important is what happens from this moment on. It’s time to draw a line in the sand and separate the old you from the new you.

So quit your excuses, your pity party, your complaining, and finger pointing and start to do something. Life moves pretty fast. You’re not going to achieve everything at one time, but focus on just one area of your life and work on changing it to the way you want first.

You’re responsible for everything in your life and because of that power you can have the life you’ve always dreamed of.

Your friend,

Benny Hsu

 

If you enjoyed this, I’d love it if you shared it on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Reddit, or Stumbleupon. Or email someone you know who could use some words of encouragement. 

 

Photo credit Manoj Kengudelu

 

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  • Annie

    I would rather dedicate this moment to you, thank you mister… you just made my day colorful !

    • http://getbusylivingblog.com Benny

      Thank you so much Annie!

  • Shawn

    Thank you for posting this. I plan on re-reading it and re-reading it, saving sections of it as daily reminders to do the things necessary to really *live* life.

    • http://getbusylivingblog.com Benny

      You’re welcome Shawn! It definitely needs to be read more than once to let everything sink in.

  • http://www.burningtoday.com Jonathan

    Benny,

    The irony is that while I was literally crying and feeling hopeless about things currently going on in my life due to my job and life in general I came across this article. I had to say it was pretty amazing that I came across it while having feelings of hopelessness. After I was done I was feeling a bit better. I have been focusing on learning how to invest and also building my business day by day. Sometimes I feel hopeless and wonder if it’s all for nothing. I have really rough days and just wish I had something better to fall back on but I don’t. It’s a terrible feeling being “trapped” in a life you don’t want. The good thing I can say is that all the bad things are pushing me more and more to really change my life. I feel as I’m finally reaching the point where tolerating my currently lifestyle is too painful to continue. I have to push towards making it better and how I want my life to be. Thanks for the inspiration.

    • http://getbusylivingblog.com Benny

      You’re welcome Jonathan. I know that feeling. Heck, I still feel like that. I do question if what I’m doing is gonna work. I don’t want to feel like I’m spinning my wheels in mud. I want to be moving forward. I go back to my affirmations and visualizations to get me back into the mindset of success and to do the work every day. Remember when you build your business day by day, you’re not going to see tangible results, but it doesn’t mean what you’re learning and doing isn’t having a positive effect.

  • http://www.dollysdaughter.wordpress.com Colleen Kelly

    Benny. You made me cry. This is The best blog post I have ever read. No joke. I’m speechless and floored. Please tell me you are going to write a book like this. I haven’t been here in a while and I am sad to say that. But I am so glad I came today. I saw your tweet. I think there is something in that letter for everyone even if they feel they are doing pretty good. Because we ALL have those moments. I know I have. You doubt or feel lost when things aren’t going as you hoped, but you have to keep trying and hang in . But it can be so hard. A voice like yours Benny , and I mean this with ALL OF MY HEART, is a gift. Thank you for sharing it with me today. with Everyone. I would hug you if I were there.
    Consider yourself hugged ;)
    Colleen ;)

    • http://getbusylivingblog.com Benny

      That’s the best feedback I’ve heard about any of my posts. Thanks Colleen! I’ve always wanted to write a book and this could be the starting point for it. Thank you for the idea! I can feel the hug all the way here. Thanks so much Colleen!

  • Andrew

    It’s all about the Slight Edge:
    http://www.amazon.com/The-Slight-Edge-Revised-Edition/dp/193594486X

    Great post Benny!

  • http://www.annieandre.com Annie André

    Benny, I like Colleen’s idea above. A whole book of letter dedicated to certain situations.
    One for marriage, one for when you feel hopeless about life. Another for when you fall flat on your face, have kids, get divorced, experience death. i could go on.

    Seriously, I’ve only ever felt hopeless in my life a few times. And that’s when my father died. Everything after that pales in comparison. so when I feel down or have failed at something, i think of how bad it could get what would my father think or say and that helps me put things into perspective and get my ass moving.

    • Lorraine

      Life-changing. Benny, you should really think about writing a book in the near future. Your message needs to be shared.

      • http://getbusylivingblog.com Benny

        Thank you for the awesome words Lorraine! A dream of mine would be to write a book.

    • http://getbusylivingblog.com Benny

      That’s a great way to put things in perspective when times are tough. I do want to write some sort of book, but that’s about as far as I’ve gotten with that. But your idea and Colleen’s idea are great ones. When you coming to visit Taipei? I’m here now! :)

    • http://www.dollysdaughter.wordpress.com Colleen Kelly

      Me too Annie, but it was with my Mom. Benny has it in him to do this. That is a heart that can reach people. So many need to hear “hold on” “It will be OK” even ..”Move!”
      Benny, you can do it. ;)

  • Cat

    Thank you for this post and your whole site. I am 46, female and became very ill with chronic fatigue and some other things the past ten years. I am finally on a good healing path and feel so behind in life and mine is not a matter of laziness or too much going on, but not enough energy. I have things I have always wanted to do and try the best I can but I’m not getting where I want to be due to lack of energy and exhaustion some days.

    I feel really at a disadvantage and at an advantage in other ways because I am eligigle for help from Voc. Rehab and plan to go as my health gets a bit stronger or even if it doesn’t. It is getting a little better but it has taken me years to hit bottom from adding to it all by making bad choices in relationships and friendships and now I have more time to myself and I just have to have hope I can turn this around at some point.

    I have many talents and skills I want to put to good to use and make money at finally. I hope it is not too late as my healing is going along fairly slowly with yoga and Chinese Medicine and learning more about my illness and what it means to spend my energy wisely.

    So thank you for this. It really applies to me.

    • http://getbusylivingblog.com Benny

      It’s never too late Cat to change how you want your life to be. I know it must be a tough road but take it day by day. Make a conscious choice to improve then a year from now you can look back and realize how far you have come.

      • Cat

        Thank you so much. That is the best advice yet. Little by little and be conscious about it every day. I do tend to waste time when I don’t feel well and I can simply try to focus on something more useful little by little.

  • http://loveandlifestyles.com/sitemap.xml Patrik

    An awesome blog, the words will haunt me even after reading it for a long time.

  • foggy in the head.

    ah hahaha

    man oh man. MAN OH MAN.

    I almost got too damn embarrassed after realising that more than half of the stuff I wrote in the reply to your email in which you asked me to reply ASAP with any problems or worries in life, are written down here totally! lmao

    Anyways, on a more serious note. Totally frickin’ awesome wake up call. I liked the Jim Carrey quote dude. I’m gonna rub it in my face mentally ALL THE TIME I’m not doing what I’m supposed to because I love Jim Carrey, he’s a fantastic person and I’ve heard of his story of carrying a cheque for $10mil or something like it and he encashing that thing in 3 years in 1995 or something I guess after his first movie paid him off handsomely. Man that was awesome. Love you Jimmy. So.. Whenever I think and then overthink and finally decide not to approach a girl, I will say that quote and just do it. I am not gonna care about the rejections. Life’s too short to care about rejections when you’re ass is gonna get plummeted everyday and it’s just the way life is. So, no more masturbation, because there will be no hesitation.

    Apart from that dude, I’m gonna have to make some serious-ass changes towards my attitude to my development work. I take off too many damn days not doing any development. But here’s what I found after reading that line “like vs commitment” : I really don’t think I like-like making Android apps or just apps for that matter. I’m just in it for the money to be honest. BUT I’d love to make games. I love-like to make games. But that’s a steeper road of learning. That’s what makes me afraid. Then I think of doing some webstuff – some site like Tumblr or Facebook or just about anything that would definitely make $1000 a month. Use that money to start my own freelancing company, from that to a game development company, while keeping the freelancing one alive, and then bigger and better things, and then from there to even more bigger things until I finally become a billionaire one day, like my dream of designing and manufacturing kick-ass cars that would run on clean energy. The cycle goes on and on. I really haven’t still found what I can do which I would love-like to do, aka, be committed to!

    Alrighty mate. This post was certainly helpful. It has only been about an hour and all this shit had so much impact.

    • http://getbusylivingblog.com Benny

      No worries! Had to give you some tough love. I don’t think any other way would have helped.

  • Alice

    Somehow I landed up here at the right time, when my need to know this is at the right level. Thank you.

  • http://www.pointchaser.com Ariana

    Awesome post, filled with excellent advice! I will definitely check out udemy – I love to explore and learn new things. But I agree- don’t spend too much time “researching” and preparing for the perfect moment. Nothing will substitute for action, and experience (even failure) brings invaluable knowledge.

  • Jamy hoster

    Great man you have write what is every one is looking for the as many of us looking for job with good income and work they can do with there hearth thank you for sharing this useful information all the newbies.

  • Przemek

    Great letter. Although i recently have a lot of motivation i feel like i got the newest energy to do better! I will translate this letter to polish and show it to my mom. She will defenitely need an inspiration like this. Thanks Benny!

  • http://www.RebootAuthentic.com Gary Korisko

    Hey Benny:

    Sorry I’m late to the party – but I wanted to second all the other comments. We’ve all been there and it’s easy to get on a “negative roll” and down on yourself. Great sentiments – and well written.

    It looks like all is well a GBL. Take care!

  • http://www.notordinaryblogger.com Okto

    Like this encouraging post, no matter how bad things happen in the past, move forward is the only option to take to change the condition. :)

  • Tim

    “Go to Google or read a book about how you can increase your productivity. There are so many different systems out there. You just have to try it out until you find one that is the right fit for you. It’s like dating but much easier to break up with if you’re not pleased” <- That got me laughing and so true~!

  • Annie

    First of all I want to thank you for the great blog you’ve created! I actually came across your blog when I was having a boring moment at work today and dwelling on my becoming 34th birthay in week’s time. That’s when I found your 34 life lessons…It immediately cheered me up! I should really embrace the years I lived and not always think about what I don’t have…

    So I saved this blog and liked it on facebook and then continued to read what the Epic living means. And wow again, although today has been a great day (since the midday, I read you life lessons and after got some good news) your text still totally hit me! I I am living my dream I’m on a right career track but what I’m missing is a partner and one day maybe a family. I might have come across people that were not right for me but I will just continue. There is no right place or time for finding him and I should enjoy the ride meanwhile! I am planning on taking up new things in my life and continue following my path. One thing of being them already on my way getting there is going on a holiday on my own for the first time! Scary but think it will be great!

    Thanks again for the great words and all the best! :)

  • http://www.silverbullionworld.com/eagle.html Carl

    Beautifully written, and so very true sitting around hoping for change to happen just isn’t an option if you want to succeed in life at what ever you want to do… One needs to take action to progress even if you fail a few times…

  • surbhi

    After reading i just feel like i was just waiting so long for a perfect moment in my life. I know I am better than this. I know I have huge potential , in fact everyone does. I wont stay this average person. Your post has somehow awaken me. Time for changes.
    You are a good man benny!
    Thanks

  • Adam

    I’m sure you get enough gratitude on here but I have to say THANK YOU. this particular post has changed my life around for the better when I needed it most. Being relatively new to the work force has brought on much stress and uncertainties. These few months I’ve read book after book about finding happiness, getting out of depression, overcoming perpetual worries, professional counseling, and countless blogs and posts to pull myself out of a very deep hole where I was contemplating the meaning of my existence and it made going to work another day seem like unending torture and I just wanted no more of it. You’ve hit so many points on the nail and, for the time being, a sense of purpose in my life has been renewed and I could actually get a glimpse, again, of the wonderful things I have in life that I was not able to see in so long. I really needed a jump start and somehow it feels like I got one. Please continue to make a difference through your blog and projects.

    • http://getbusylivingblog.com Benny

      Hey Adam! Thanks so much for the comment. So glad that this post has had such an impact on you!

  • GP

    I’m sure your intentions are good and that you believe everything you are saying Benny. My opinion is that success comes from an extremely variable combination of circumstance and effort. Interestingly, people who succeed in anything are usually keen to emphasize/preach to others how critical their effort and mental attitude were, rather than attempting to unpick the unfathomable string of uncontrollable coincidences that enabled them to achieve. It seems to be essential to humans, and particularly those that subscribe to the “American Dream”, that we are largely in control of our lives, and that anything is possible if we want it enough. The truth is far less flattering, and this makes such overblown claims unintentionally deceptive, cruel and lacking in compassion.

  • heopless

    i need some motivation . completed my engineering and my academic scores are very low . i’m jobless i dont know what to do . i dont have any skills . i’m hopeless now

  • Joey

    You gave everyone in this hopeless world a dim light of hope. Hope is in our hand. Thanks.

  • jc

    I would have liked to have read your blog. But the box that keeps moving down the side of the article as I scroll down was SO ANNOYING, that I had to stop reading it. Truly, you need to get rid of that box. It really is irritating.

  • http://www.easytocookmeals.com/ Shobelyn Dayrit

    You cannot believe how this article has help me at this moment. You have encouraged me. Thank you.

    • http://getbusylivingblog.com Benny Hsu

      Happy to hear that. :)

  • MATA

    After my break up, I sat in my bed all day, every day. I cried constantly I actually started to Google ways to get over a broken heart, and that’s when I found your email I just wanted to thank you so much for your help. It has gotten me through a lot, and I appreciate it immensely thank you for bringing my husband back to me and our kids thank you drlawrencespelltemple@hotmail.com you are truly a blessing.

    • http://getbusylivingblog.com Benny Hsu

      My pleasure. So glad to hear that you’re back with your husband and your family is together again. :)

  • Ida

    One after another my interviews went wrong. I am hopeless now. Everyday I come home and sob. Every night I wake up with wild dreams. Every morning I get up with sad face. I am not able to tell my fiance about it. My heart is twitching and twisting everyday.
    Your letter has given me a hope. I will implement these suggestions in my life Thank you so much for writing. Thank you.

    • http://getbusylivingblog.com Benny Hsu

      You’re welcome. Hope things get better for you.

  • Matteo Benanti

    You inspired me to go on, thank you. I wont let the hardships rule me out

  • Dracksvillagirl

    i got bored half way..but i got the gist.. have to pull myself up and start doing things that will bring changes…but to help and make people realize that idle days isnt gonna bring any fruit is good…the suggestion to learn new thing from Udemy inspired me will try that :)

  • Mohamed Saleh

    I hate this sentence “It does get better if you want it to”

    • http://getbusylivingblog.com Benny Hsu

      Why do you hate it? You probably don’t believe it. Why can’t you change your life you want to? You can. People have. People who grow up poor are now rich. People who have lost a business have started a new one. People who are paralyzed for life are happier than someone people with a healthy body. So yes it can get better if you want.

  • Mohamed Saleh

    the last 4 years i have been doing nothing but losing and failing. after obtaining my MSc degree at my 31 :
    – Failed to get a job in my career
    – Failed in passing car driving license exam
    – Failed at practical car driving license
    – Failed at building my own project
    – Failed to save money
    – Failed to start a family
    today still failing i am 36….last success was at 31…what the hell is going on

  • Hashan Lakshitha

    I don’t know. I’m also a person who has a sucked life. I can manage everything. But still I couldn’t stop thinking about one thing. I have a girlfriend and sometimes she says she loves me and again she says she doesn’t love me. I don’t know what to do. I can’t explain what the hell is going on my mind. Because of this reason I can’t study, I can’t do anything else. There’s no one to listen this. I don’t know. Now my life is getting worse day by day. I’m tired of being what she wants me to be. But I can’t leave her. Because I wanna stay there for her when she needs me. This is mind blowing situation. What the hell I can do?

  • Phoiai Konyak

    OMG. Whatever u said is exactly 100% exactly what i feel and say to myself.. I knw i’m very creative and talented but i’m stuck with this right thing to come on my way. What is that Right Thing???? I myself don’t know. May be i’m too good for everything and i end up getting none to do anything presently. I’m tired of waiting eventually going broke and hopeless.
    Whatever u wrote is so true.
    1.Suicide yes
    2.Jim Carrey.. hell ya LMAO hahahahahahahaha
    3.Pointing fingers at others. YES and rest etc etc

    Yes i know i have to stand up and wake up (wake me up when its all over its my status for 8months now :-) BUT there is a question where do i go? what to i do? because i dont see any thing out there or anything that calls me. Where should i look then?
    If its to begin from scratch but for that i need to first find tat scratch somewhere..Where???
    Grrrrrrr……

    At one point i thought instead of just doing suicide why not i do it in more charitable way i.e donate my organs to those who need it..Atleast then i’m useful for somebody somewhere and not hopeless…LOL…
    Anyway i really love reading what u wrote.

    Thank You Benny

  • Julia Horton

    Benny Hsu, a few hours ago my boyfriend and I had a huge fight. He made some comments about how I don’t care about our relationship, how I dont I want to better my life, and that I just want to stay at a dead end job. I was all packed up and ready to head out that door but I had a feeling that I needed to stay and try to talk with him. I finally calmed down after crying and we talked a little more and as I’m laying next to him right now I realized that he was right. I’m scared to try something new and different and I’m terrified to start college. All I want is for things to just be okay and normal without something going completely wrong. After reading this, I can honestly say that your words instantly hit me. You said everything that I needed to hear but in a way that didn’t make me feel so horrible about myself and the way that I have been living my life. Sometimes all it takes is for a complete stranger to tell you what you need to hear but at the same time have the person reading it to feel as if they have a friend in you. So starting now my life will be different and wonderful because this just gave me the motivation that I needed. I’m a firm believer in God and I have asked him to help me see what it is that needs to be fixed and he answered me with this letter you wrote. So Benny Hsu, please know that you have helped this girl learn that it’s her that needs to change. Not everyone else who needs to change if for me. You are one of God’s angels on earth. Again thank you. You have no idea what this meant to me.

  • Wargasmic

    I actually found this quite offensive. You seem to be talking exclusively to lazy people who just don’t want to try while coming accross as trying to help people with real problems. I find your attitude disgusting.

    “I hate to break it to you, but you’re not going to lose all the
    weight you want in two weeks and keep it off forever. You’re not going
    to forever eliminate years of bad habits in a month. You’re not going to
    have $100,000 in a year if your bank account only has $100 now. You’re
    not going to build an online business making $1,000 a week working only
    four hours with no skills and no money to start.

    So what will it take? I know you don’t want to hear it, but it’s
    going to take one day at a time. You need to start making deliberate
    choices and stop sleepwalking through life.”

    I’m sorry but anyone with a brain cell in their skull knows this. You sound like you’re talking to a 12 year old. There are lazy people and people that want everything on a platter. But your letter seems to target EVERYONE who seems a little bit down. If it is, you need to fucking rethink what you are writing. Do you really think people become suicidal because theyre a bit confused on what they want to do in life? Do you really think telling someone “Well chin up buddy, cos noone else can do it for you” is helpful?

    How about someone suffering with agoraphobia and can’t leave the house? Do you think this letter is teaching them anything they don’t already know? Do you think there is any advice anywhere in this letter for anyone who actually has a real problem? There isn’t. This letter is just the long way round of saying “Chin up buddy” to someone who has had something like a bad hair day on a grander scale.

    You said you were there once. Where exactly? And where are you now?

    • http://getbusylivingblog.com Benny Hsu

      I’m not even going to bother with a respectful reply because of your attitude. If you don’t like the article that’s fine. Just click close and move on if you found my attitude so disgusting.

      Best of luck to you.

  • Marcel

    My life sucks. From the beginning to (I hope) fast end. I am neurosurgeon, have got a lot of money, nice sports car, big house and blah blah. Like a dream? Not for me. I don’t have love. I don’t have it because I don’t have time at all. My life sucks. I always wanted to be an Navy SEALs operator. I wanted to be a soldier, have a wife, kids. But now I’m doing what I don’t want to. I spend all day with people but I feel alone. I would give everything to make my wish come true. But it won’t.

    • jane22

      I’m no expert, but you can still achieve what you want. It’s never too late. Even if you’re 41, like Benny said, you’ve only lived 52% of your life. You just have to plan and think about how to make it happen. Maybe, in order to find your wife, you had to become a neurosurgeon and live a crappy life, and one day when you would make some life changing decision you would meet her. You can do it. Believe in yourself. And trust me, this is coming from someone who had depression and got cured. Sometimes, I do have those sad moments where I feel I’m going to relapse, but I no longer make the mistake I once did: thinking it’s all over and I can’t do anything about it.

  • Mara Walker

    50-year old woman with one ovary gives birth to triplets.

    “I am 50 years old and my husband is also 52. I had a surgical operation and one of my ovaries was removed and the doctors told me that I would only be able to conceive by a divine miracle. God intervened and I gave birth to a baby boy who later died. After seeking for help through prayers from Dr ABU FATIMA, the gods intervened again and I conceived and to the glory of gods I gave birth to triplets, two boys and a girl. Dr ABU surprised me because one of the babies looked exactly like the one that died.” thanks to Dr Abu Fatima. contact him if you are in the same situation i pass through via email abufatima77powerspellcaster @ g mail . com or call him direct +2348164210522.

  • SteveNelson2012

    Marcel, if your life sucks and yet you have all this big money, then relive yourself of just a small portion of that terrible money and give me a No Interest, pay it back when I can, loan. So I can get some land and build the organic farm that my wife and I dream of. My wife, who is a great cook, also wants to run a Diner and or a fruit and vegetable market adjacent to the farm where we will produce the organic foods we will sell. So if you, Marcel, or anybody else out there wants to feel good about having your money out in the world and doing some good for others, and at the same time helping the environment, then contact me ASAP and “Lets Make a Deal!” I have also thought to make with the farm that we want, (Somewhere in Idaho, near the Canadian Border, Cause my wife is from the Nelson, BC area), some guest cottages where investors in my organic farm and roadside dinner plan, could come and spend time each year riding horses and hiking and in general getting back to nature. You see right now I have absolutely nothing to loose. So I will even post my Resume here so All Can See that I have nothing right now that anyone can take. But I do have the skills to build those cottages and work that farm, and build that Diner. I already raise chickens and produce farm fresh eggs, we grew a ton of Green Beans this year, Zucchini, and Squash, and Pumpkins, and Potatoes, on and on, and on… All the stuff we grow here at my rented property in Northern Utah, is completely organic! If you want to know about that just get a copy of a new movie just out and now available at Target stores called: GMO OMG. But my Organic Farm and Roadside Diner are my main dreams as of now in my life. I am looking for sincere folks with the means to help me get it going. Well enough of that, here’s my resume folks:

    Resume
    of- Steve
    Nelson

    Resume of Steve Nelson: (Gosh I Hope this works)

    Resume of- Steve Nelson

    464E. 1750 N. North Ogden, Ut. 84414
    USA HP 801-782-4827

    E-mail: stevesworldisnumber1@hotmail.com

    Work
    Specialty- Maintenance Tech/Handy Man

    1
    year with Kier Corp, Ogden, Ut.
    6
    Months with ARC Mobile Home Parks, Clearfield & Ogden, Ut.
    4
    ½ Award winning yrs. w/Motel 6 (Top Ten in the Region) Ogden, Ut.
    2
    yrs. YCC Your Community Connection, Ogden
    12
    yrs. Building, Owning & operating My Own KEY & COPY Convenience store,
    Ogden
    3
    yrs. Warehouseman w/Boyle furniture, Ogden
    Over
    40 yrs. Total Work Exp.

    Skills
    include:

    Elec. Work,
    Plumbing, Painting, Carpentry, Lawn & Landscaping, Sprinkler Repair, Snow
    Plow Operator, Cert. Pool/Spa Operator, Drafting, Key Maker & Lock work.

    Steve has written 11 books… Tomorrow’s
    World #1 (At PublishAmerica.com)

    *TW2 DESERT TREK *The Maintenance Engineer

    *Escape from the
    ORDER! *The
    Problem Eliminators!

    *In the 47th
    Generation
    *NIBLY
    the Bear ~ Visits the People Town

    *NIBLY the Bear ~ Gone Fish ‘in *The
    Deliberate Poisoning of Earth

    *100+ Quotable
    Quotes By & About Dr. Ron Paul~ A Real Amer-I-Can!

    * The Book of Mormon~ Colorfully Illustrated

    (*) Books published at: SMASHWORDS.COM All books
    are available at: Barnes & Noble.
    Look Steve up on FACEBOOK.

    I Can
    Do a Great Job for YOU! ~ Steve Nelson

    ******So Folks, Can We Make a Deal?*******

  • zeeshan

    I hope it will help me.

  • http://getbusylivingblog.com Benny Hsu

    there must be a reason to live. Family? Loved ones? A bright future?

  • http://www.myaspergers.net/ steveborgman

    Hello, guest. Speaking as a therapist, I hope you are willing to reach out to someone and talk about what you’re feeling. Have you considered calling a crisis line? Please call 1.800.273.TALK (8255) to be connected to someone who wants to help you.