Bring Sexy Back by Doing the Unsexy

Unsexy dancing

I’ve written about making positive changes to help you live a better and more fulfilling life. I’ve inspired you with my story that you’re capable of your wildest dreams.

I’m going to be honest about my advice. They aren’t exciting or cool. They’re more mundane than thrilling.

To some, working on personal development isn’t all that sexy.

I’ve told you to cut back on television, news, gossip, and reading anything that’s not filling your brain up with clean water. I’ve told you to make a not to do list. It seems like I’m telling you to take away all your fun. I’m not.

I’m just reminding you to get your priorities straight if you want to create the life you’ve always dreamt of.

I still do all those things I’ve told you not to do, but I do it less and have replaced it with a commitment to change my life. There’s been days of just working and not leaving the house. My free time is spent reading, writing, emailing, or networking. It’s not glamourous to some.

How has it affected me? Those tiny and unsexy changes have made 2011 my best year ever. I feel like it’s just the beginning of great things too.

What is my secret in one sentence? I’ve made sure I’m putting more time towards my goals compared to doing activities that don’t. 

I don’t want people to think I’m perfect and don’t watch television, only read inspirational books, and only listen to instructional or motivational audio in my car. Far from it.

I still read the USA Today every single day. I love it. We shouldn’t live in a bubble and think the world is perfect. Stories of natural disasters, the economy, and tragedy makes us appreciate how precious life is.

It’s just that we shouldn’t consume more than we need to know. Watching the news morning, throughout the day and a night is too much. Also there is a lot of news that we don’t even need to know. Local convenience store robbed anyone?

Enjoy what you want to enjoy. We need to recharge when working so hard. We all have different ways of doing that.

Do you want to watch television for four hours straight? Go ahead. Do you want to read Why not. Spend an hour on Youtube? Go for it. You want that big bowl of ice cream? Do it.

It’s football season now and I’m watching a lot of football all weekend. It’s something I love and have no plans of giving it up.

There’s a time and place for all that.

However, I know what’s going to be more important to me six months from now. I’m spending the majority of my time on the tedious, sometimes boring process to get to success. Don’t get me wrong I love what I do online, but success takes hard work, discipline, and commitment. It’s not sexy sometimes.

Is it time for some changes?

You have to look at your life and see if you’re feeling stuck, unhappy, or unfulfilled. How far is that gap between where you are now and where you want to be?

If it’s pretty far, it’s time for some changes.

We all know the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over but expecting a different result.

If I looked up the word in the dictionary, would I see you? You would have seen me! I believed if I kept wishing, my life would miraculously change.

Just like I want my food hot in a minute, I wanted my life become perfect right away. I wanted to skip all the hard work. Yet I kept same habits, attitude, and self beliefs day in and day out. 100% insane.

Thank goodness I wised up. It took about five years but better late than never. I realized the choices I made in my life up till then had led me to that life. It wasn’t a streak of bad luck or being cursed.

If your free time is consumed by surfing the web and television, but complain you don’t have time to start a business, write your first novel, exercise, or spend quality time with your family, then it’s time for some changes.

Stop making excuses!! You have time for the meaningless but no time for the meaningful? Get your priorities straight.

How do do you know if you need to make changes in your life? Look at the results you’re getting.

  • If you say you want to spend more time with your family, but you’re always attached to your Blackberry or iPhone, you’re going to have to make changes.
  • If you’re exercising six days a week for an hour, but eat like you’re at a Vegas buffet every day and not losing weight, you’re going to have to make changes.
  • If you eat out every meal, go drinking with friends on the weekends and then wonder why you never have enough money, you’re going to have to make changes.
  • If you spend three hours a night parked in front of the television, but complain about not having any luck in life, you’re going to have to make changes.

You can’t keep doing the same thing an expect changes! But you don’t have to give up everything to make positive changes.

  • Have a tech free night where everyone doesn’t use their phone or computers. It’s just quality family time.
  • Instead of eating whatever you want seven days a week, you eat healthy for six days and have a one free day. If in the long run you’re still losing or staying at your ideal weight, then enjoy that free day. Or if 80% of the meals you eat per week are healthy, then the 20% that aren’t won’t be the end of the world.
  • Cut back on eating out, cook more meals at home, and you’ll have more money to go drinking on the weekends.
  • Record your shows so you can skip through the commercials. Find the ones you can do without and cut back. Eliminate channel surfing.

If you’re not getting the results you want, why not also try to fill your mind with more clean water and make a not to do list? I know it’s not sexy, but you will see results in your life.

Do What Unsuccessful People Aren’t Willing to Do

You will have to make more time for the important because we all have the same 24 hours in a day. Maybe it’s waking up earlier, staying home instead of going out, or working during your lunch break. It’s doing the unsexy.

We all want to sleep more, go out more, and enjoy our lunch break but remember this:

The biggest difference between successful people and unsuccessful people is that successful people are wiling to do what unsuccessful people are not.

If you’re not where you want to be, you can’t keep doing what you’ve been doing.

I know you want to be successful. That’s why you read my blog. Be unsexy more often, and you’ll love the results you get in the long run.


What are you willing to do that unsuccessful people are not? 

Are you going to bring sexy back? 


Photo by Pixel Addict
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50 responses to Bring Sexy Back by Doing the Unsexy

  1. Really great blog post. You’re so right with you have to give up some of those “good” things in your life to receive some of the best things in your life. Giving up my $5 lattes was one of my biggest things to have extra money to invest in product development and affiliate promotions. But, it was well worth it when I launched my product months later. I really enjoy your outlook that you have grown to have on life and how you adapt and change to things. It’s good to have down time but also understand what you’re trying to get out of life at the same time as well.

    • Hey Justice,

      I bet giving up $5 lattes was tough. I have a friend who is giving up his daily habit of multiple Red Bulls. He’s doing it to have more money. I know that’s a tough thing to do so he’s really serious about having more money. It’s making sacrifices if we want to do more important things. Glad to hear it’s had a positive impact on your life!

  2. Benny – you’re spot-on, 100 percent right. Again.

    You have to live the life other people aren’t willing to live to get to where you want to be. Dave Ramsey semi-preaches that when he talks about getting out of debt. A friend of mine who used to play professional sports says it’s the only way he was able to make it to the pros, by living the life other’s weren’t willing to live. Which means working towards your goals, every day. Without fail.

    Thanks for the reminder. I’ll get my eye back on the ball.

    • Hey Kathy!

      Pro athletes are a great example of the hard work and dedication it takes to get to that level. All the extra hours of practice. While friends were out having fun, they were working on their game. There’s sacrifices that had to be made. It’s not easy to go down that road but if it was it’d be crowded! Instead it’s the less crowded route but the most rewarding.

      Great to hear from you as always Kathy!

  3. Ha! I love the message for this one.

    2011 has been my best so far, too! It is soooo important to buckle down and get uncomfortable sometimes, doing the things you don’t want to do. My vice is Chopped- the cooking competition on Food Network! They’re on all the time, but I DVR them so that I can come back to them at the end of the night AFTER I’ve done everything I set out to do that day.

    Great post (as always ;)), Benny!

    • I’m so glad to hear 2011 has been your best year so far as well! Isn’t DVR such a great invention? I love how easy it is to record shows. I know you’re focused on the bigger goals. Imagine how our 2012 will look if we keep this up? I know it’s going to be even better!

  4. This is very apropos for me these days. Since returning to Canada after being away for seven years, it’s too easy to get into that routine of watching TV every night after dinner. It’s really hard to get back into a routine of focusing on projects that have a higher payoff in the end.

    The hardest part is that I now have access to live hockey. Something that I really have missed over the years. The problem is that it is all to easy to watch a three-hour hockey game every night.

    Just last night, as I was going to bed, I was thinking I need to avoid getting into the trap of becoming “a typical North American” and get focused. I’m not going to give up on hockey but I’m only going to watch the games with my favorite team in them. The rest I can read about or watch the high-lights.

    I totally agree about not getting sucked into to a constant news barrage. Once a day for about 30mins is probably all one needs to stay up on the important issues.

    Focus. Focus. Focus.

    – Matt

    • When I lived in Taipei, I didn’t spend hours watching football. It made me mad they didn’t show football games on TV. They even didn’t show the Super Bowl! I got used to it after awhile and didn’t spend probably 15+ hours on watching something that was football related on TV. So I understand how you feel having live hockey back on TV!

      Hope you get into a nice routine soon!

  5. You are right Benny, it ain’t all sexy. Plus you aren’t the only one striving for different things in their lives but not cutting out all the other stuff entirely.

    Granted, I don’t watch the news and I don’t read the paper. I’ve never really been big on either. But I still have my TV shows I enjoy watching, I just do them very very very late at night or on the weekends when I need that break. People will say to work this 7 days a week for a couple of years if you want success but for me, I need those breaks at times. Other times, I work right through the weekend as well.

    People just have to decide what’s important in their lives and what isn’t. For instance, I LOVE food. If I had my way I would eat crappy every single day and eat lots of food. Love love love it but I don’t want to be unhealthy or overweight. I refuse to be that person so I watch what I eat. But I don’t deprive myself when I do go out because I have been watching it throughout the week.

    We all just have to decide what we really want in our lives. You always have to give something up in order to get what you want which is why that popular saying about “doing the say thing over and over again expecting the same results” is so true. If that were the case, don’t you think we would all be deliriously happy?

    Thanks for sharing this with us Benny and I hope you enjoy your weekend watching football. This will be my weekend to work.


    • Benny,

      Excellent post. I feel we are really in sync here.

      It’s easy to get caught in a rut and ignore the impact our day-to-day decisions have on our lives.

      That’s why it is important to be constantly aware of your goals, support them with your actions and hold yourself accountable.

      As you eluded too, everything is good in moderation and we all deserve to indulge ourselves now and again, but our primary focus the majority of the time should be to build a foundation that supports our goals.

      It’s a constant struggle but one I am willing to fight.


      • Hey Mark,

        We’re definitely on the same page. Being aware is the first step. Whether it’s being aware of our biggest time wasters or our goals. If we’re not aware then we don’t know what we should or shouldn’t be doing. It’s still a struggle for me at times to keep things that don’t contribute to my goals in moderation. I’m willing to fight that struggle as well!

        Hope you had a great weekend!

    • I love food too! Just yesterday i ate way too much and so much junk!! So so bad. So I just have to keep those days to a minimum. If I ate like that every day for a month I’d gain so much weight.

      We do have to decide what we really want. Some people don’t know what they want so they just wander aimlessly. Or t hey feel like whatever they do won’t matter. Or they do it for a week, don’t see any results, and give up.

      I’m going to do some work before football starts. I know you’re always working hard there! I would think you never sleep!

  6. Great stuff, Benny. I posted a vid yesterday about creating positive momentum in life…it really is about the small details, isn’t it?

    • It really is about the small details Steve. On the flip side I also thing it’s the small details that derail us. It’s building bad habits on a consistent basis. It’s not going one big bad thing. It’s the small things. So we can use that also to our advantage and start building that positive momentum.

      I’ll have to watch that Oprah interview!

  7. So true man, so true! There’s nothing glamorous about freaking hard-ass work. It’s easy to see your iPhone app success and admire the glamour there, but unless you just skimmed that blog post looking for numbers you missed the hard work part, hah.

    For me I’m getting up earlier to work on my blog, and also spending lots of time on the weekends too! I’m ’bout to catch that gigantic wave they call The Compound Effect!

    • Seriously! People weren’t in my shoes and don’t know how many years I’ve been waiting for a moment like that. I’ve tried so many different ways to make money online. The iPhone app wasn’t my first idea. So no overnight success here. You’re definitely working hard Deacon and I love the energy you have when I read your tweets or posts!

      Thanks for sharing as always!

  8. This is right on time as so many of us see the success of someone but don’t see the painstakingly hard work that happens behind the scenes.

    That’s why I believe it takes a big bucket of passion about your goal because the hours get long and sometimes you feel lonely. But being excited about where you’re going helps ease the stuff no one else sees.

    • Hey Torrey!

      That’s why people are so easily drawn towards products that promise thousand of dollars with little work. That’s why those Nigerian scams still get people. They don’t want to put in the hard work.

      It definitely does take doing something passionate to keep me going. If I hated what I was doing, it would be so easy to put it off! I know the same for you. Your passion bucket is full so that’s why you put in the hard work! It’s going to pay off in a huge way. I’ll be glad to say I knew you before you got super famous! 🙂

  9. Benny,

    It’s true. If possible, do what you want to do in the moment, even if that means choosing between tasks that must be done. I for one could use a little fun in my life! Most of the time I am working in one way or another.

    • HI Julie!

      I could use a vacation right now. Actually I needed one months ago. I’m working one way or another as well. I have my full time job and then what I do online. I feel like if I’m not working online in my free time I’ll be behind. I enjoy it but I look forward to a vacation! So we need to both find a bit more fun. 🙂

  10. Well said Benny. That’s all I have to say.

    It’s like people with the “overnight success.” It’s “sexy.” too bad people don’t account for the years of hard work and failure it took to get to that “overnight success.”

    • Hey Eugene,

      Overnight success is so sexy but rarely is it truly overnight. It’s years of failures like you said. Hope NYC is treating you well!

  11. This is an awesome post, Benny!

    Insta-success would be nice, I have to admit. But I also know it won’t happen. It’s the process of working and struggling and adapting and failing and learning from the fails and starting again and pushing forward, breaking through barriers, doing the unsexy stuff, that brings us to that point where success is acheived.

    Sometimes we look at successful people then learn about their harships and think, “Wow! They accomplished all that even with those adversities?” not realizing that the success was partly DUE to those adversities.

    Well done, Benny!

    • Hey Ken!

      I would love instant success too. I would love to work out a few days and have six pack abs! Sadly that won’t happen. But we live in a time when we want everything right away. That includes more money. So people get scammed into get rich quick schemes. The unsuccessful don’t want to go through the hardships. I know that feeling.

      Thanks for sharing Ken!

  12. Enjoyed this post Benny! This is something that I have to get better at. I must cut down on the little things that consume my time and become way more discipline and fully take advantage of my 24 hours. I spend too much time surfing the web, when I should be working to build my website and the rest of my goals. Thanks for sharing bro.

    • Hi Aaron!

      It’s easy to lose track of time when we’re doing things like that. Sure it’s fun but think if it’s going to help you a month from now. What about even just three months from now? There’s always time to relax and surf the web but it’s harder to work on our goals. If it was so easy, everyone would be living their dreams. Good luck on your goals! Just remember do at least a little bit every day!

  13. Great stuff Benny. It’s not all glamour and beaches nor would we really want it to be in the end. I like the idea of living stratigicly. Anyway, well said and well written and as always, well done.


  14. Great post. I am glad that you mentioned that giving everything up is not necessary. Watching TV before bed will not harm anyone as long as you have completed what you aimed to complete during the day! Also I love the photo!

    • People love that photo! I love it too but it took me maybe a couple hours until I found a photo perfect for the post. I wanted to give up so many times!

      I do remember your previous comment about moderation It’s not a bad thing to watch TV but just not all the time and not when you know there are more important things to do.

      Thanks for sharing Ramy!

  15. Hey Benny! Great blog post. One thing I’ve been meaning to change is developing my own work out schedule. I’ve been relying on the trainer the company I work for has provided for our workout sessions and I’ve noticed that that time has REALLY improved my motivation. Lately that has been falling through and I haven’t been able to work out for nearly three weeks. I’m beginning to realize that it’s going to come down to me just developing a routine if I want to maintain that feeling of self worth.

    I’m going to go buy a couple things I need to start this routine and do it!

    • Yes it does come down to a routine. Plan out your workouts for the week. Decide on the time. Don’t decide that morning when you wake up. You may be less likely to stick with it. What are the things you need to buy to stick with it? I know that feeling of not working out. I just started a bit today after taking almost a couple weeks off. I felt so uncomfortable when I didn’t work out. After working out, it’s such a relief to know that I did something positive for my health!

      Thanks for sharing here Andrew!

  16. Great post Benny. I feel like I’ve been doing the unsexy for a very long time.

    “Instead of eating whatever you want seven days a week, you eat healthy for six days and have a one free day. ”

    I’ve been doing this for years. Granted sometimes there might be an extra 1 or 2 junk food days here and there.

    It’s pretty much eat good all week until the weekend comes around. Usually Sunday is our junk food day.

    Time flies so you don’t notice it half the time anyway.

    • Hey Cal. Thanks for sharing your experience with that. I’m sure you’re living proof that an extra day or two of junk food doesn’t hurt in the long run. You’ve done this for years. What’s on the menu for your junk food days? What do you get a craving for?

      • Hey Benny,

        Yeah, I’ve been doing it since around 2006 or 2007. It started with cutting Fast Food out of my Diet. Back then a junk food day was a meal from a fast food restaurant. Which was once a month.

        Now days I don’t eat any fast food except for the occasional meal at Subway.

        These days a junk food day is typically a Saturday or Sunday or both. Which are jumping days.

        Jump days = Junk food days.

        These days a junk food consists of a huge cup of coffee to get the day started, sugary and caffeine based concoctions called energy drinks consumed throughout the day, and gratuitous amounts of beer after a days jumping.

        Dinner usually consists of semi-homemade pizza and or garlic bread and maybe some potato chips for appetizers.

        As you can see I have blown over my usual 1500-2000 daily calorie intake by leaps and bounds.

        I don’t generally get cravings much but if I do it is usually for salty foods like crackers, chips etc.

        I don’t really get craving for sweet very often.

  17. Awesome!

    “Is it time for changes” Absolutely! It’s always time for changes. I am human clay – I am constantly changing, growing, and reshaping.

    The unsuccessful have been unwilling to change. Unwilling to mold in to something new. But they certainly can take that first step and make that change in to something new and more exciting. The choice is theirs…

    Great post!!

    • Brock,

      You’re right. Everyone has a choice to make. Some make the easy choices and some make the uncomfortable ones. The easy choice is to not make any changes at all! I’m heading over to read about your epic weekding in Phoenix1

  18. Hi Benny –
    Love this post and thank you for the refreshing reminder to DO what I want to do. Live out my goals every day. I want to save money, so I am choosing to not go out to eat as much. I want to spend more time reading and writing letters to family, so I’m actively choosing to not use my computer as much on the weekends.

    Changes are hard – but in the end, so so worth it. Keep on rocking it.


    • Hi the Queen of all Queens!

      Changes are hard and sometimes not so sexy, but in the long run it’ll bring us closer to our goals. Eating out is fun and we don’t have to clean up, but it does add up. Glad you’re aware of what changes you want to make. Thanks for sharing!

  19. Hi, Benny. Nicely written. So, it’s really about putting more effort into changes that impact us for the better than into time wasters that hold us back.

    To be honest, I spend lots of time working; almost too much. For years, I used most of my lunch break doing things I couldn’t complete throughout the day; like writing, designing personal websites, learning new things. Then I’d get burned out from working too hard. I like your advice because it’s not all about work, but it’s about playtime too… Playing for a limited amount of time without letting it consume our overall plans.

    I think my problem is that although I work a lot, I sometimes need to refocus on the right things. I have several irons in the fire, but need to manage each better.

    See you soon.


    • Hi Allyson,

      Thanks for sharing. It’s about working smarter and not necessarily harder. Just remember that because you’re busy doesn’t mean you’re being productive. Doing the unimportant doesn’t make something important.

      Great to hear from you!

  20. Great post Benny. I think what you advise are quite sexy;) seeing results are sexy, being successful is sexy. Which makes changes for improvement the cool thing to do. Thanks again 😉

    • Tram you said it perfectly! Seeing results are sexy. Being successful is sexy. That’s what we want, but we have to go through some unsexy stuff to get there. It’s like a flower. It starts as a small seed. It has to go through a lot of dirt before it can bloom into a beautiful flower.

      Thanks for your comment!

  21. Benny,

    I have been checking in on your blog semi-regularly since hearing about it through SPI. I think you are doing some great work here – very exciting stuff.

    You break down the reasons why people prevent themselves from successful in a kind of kick-you-in-the ass way. Very cool, unique approach. Looking forward to your next posts.

    BTW, Congrats on the awesome iPhone app success, I’m definitely going to pick it up as soon as my Android kicks it.

    Best of luck!

    • Thanks for coming back here and reading what I write. It’s what I enjoy doing. Thanks for the kind words about the iPhone app!

  22. Arg, you’re right…and I only say ‘Arg’ because I suffer from thinking about things I want to do and knowing what I should be doing to better myself and my life,but instead of actually doing them I put on my DVR and grab a bowl or ice cream– then another bowl. It helps me to read stuff like this and to KNOW that someone is putting down on paper what I’m thinking in my head. You are a great motivator.


    • The DVR and a bowl of ice cream is so tempting. It’s a choice we have to make. Veg out in front of the TV or do something that will help us in the long run? We need to relax sometimes, but only when our work is done first. Thanks for reading!

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