It’s May now! Where has the time gone?

A quarter of the year is already done. The bad news is you can’t get that time back. The good news is that you have eight months left to make this your best year ever.

It’s a great time take a moment and think if you’re heading in the right direction with your goals.

• How much progress have you made this year?
• Are you putting in just a little effort?
• Did you stop and haven’t started back up?
• Do you need some tough love to make these last eight months ten times better than the first four?

Today’s post is going to get you pumped up. It’s a time to reboot.

We all have different goals we want to achieve. Some will succeed. Most will fail. If you’re in the slow lane, I want to help you to start moving with some more urgency.

Here comes the tough love.

It is not hard

Don’t you dare say it’s hard. Beating cancer is hard. Chemotherapy is hard.

Disarming land mines is hard. Running into a burning building is hard.

I bet whatever you are doing isn’t that hard.

No one is going to sympathize with you when you say, “Losing weight (or insert whatever you’re working on) is so hard.”

Come on! That. Is. Not. Hard.

Sitting in front of your computer, with the AC on and a cup of coffee next to you is not hard.

What you may think is hard is finding the time or just getting the work done. You’re not going to get any sympathy for not having enough time, when your one hundred Pinterest boards look perfectly neat.

It’s not hard to cut out the distractions if you’re really serious about it. If you still have too many, it’s cause you don’t want it bad enough. You just don’t care enough to make changes.

No one is going to sympathize with you if you complain it’s hard to lose weight if McDonald’s knows what you want when you walk into the door.

Is it too hard to start your business cause you don’t have money? Read the $100 Startup for inspiration (aff link).

You have NO excuse for not doing what you need to be doing.

We only have one shot at this life. How important is it to you to get it right?

Don’t even consider the possibility of a failure

I know we’ve all  heard we need to fail in order to succeed. If we’re not failing, we’re not trying hard enough.

Forget all that for now. I want to focus on removing the thought of failure from your mind.

If you believe you’re going to fail, you will.

It’s that voice inside of you that keeps thinking “I can’t do this”, “I’m not smart enough”, “This isn’t going to work out”, “I’ll never reach my goal”.

You’ve got to get these negative words out of your vocabulary.

A grandmother lifted up a car to save her grandson who was pinned underneath. How? She never thought it wasn’t possible.

In my younger years, I considered failure, right at the very beginning! When I’d see an attractive girl, I’d try so hard to get the courage to go talk to her. I’d sit there thinking of what I would say and start playing the whole imaginary conversation. Then I would just figure I’d get rejected and imagine the embarrassment I’d feel.

I had such a horrible mindset from the beginning, I set myself up for failure. In this case, I didn’t even try because I failed before I even began.

You might be wondering, “How do I know I’ll succeed?” You don’t.

You have to just believe you will. Your other option is to believe you’ll fail. They both take the exact same amount of energy. Which will you chose?

Choose to believe in yourself.

You never HAVE to do anything you don’t want. 

How old are you? You’re not under 18 anymore right? Nope. You’re all big boys and girls. Toughen up. Learn to say no (or make your Mom and Dad proud and say, “No, thank you”).

Learn to stick up for yourself. Just because you’re at a wedding reception doesn’t mean you have to kill your diet by overeating. Just because all your friends are going out doesn’t mean you have to if you have work to do.

You don’t have to do anything.

That’s the beauty of being human. We can choose what we want to do. Ants can’t stop being ants. Sharks can’t stop being sharks. Their lives are built into their genetic code.

A great lesson I learned is that even when you don’t make a choice, that is a choice.

Don’t let others make the choice for you either. Be an adult and stand your ground. If need some confidence, imagine you’re a 10 ft giant. I know it’s sound ridiculous, but you need to realize how much power you have over your own life. Make the right choices for YOU. Not for anyone else.

There’s always a choice to be made. Don’t just follow what the cool kids are doing. This isn’t middle school anymore.

You can’t hire someone to do your pushups for you

You can do all the visualizing and Law of Attraction stuff you want, but nothing is going to happen unless you put in the effort.

I’m not talking about the effort kids give when parents tell them to clean up their room (throw everything in the closet or under the bed). That’s funny then, but that kind of effort won’t work now. This is real world.

If all you do is consume, consume, consume, you have to stop! Any great business wasn’t created by someone who just read a bunch of business books. You can’t lose weight by learning how to cook and watch videos on what exercises to do (though I wish).

That’s why I love the saying “You can’t hire someone to do your pushups for you”.

You can outsource almost anything, but there are somethings you actually have to do yourself. And if you don’t, you’re not going to get the results you want.

You have to take responsibility for what you need to do. You don’t have your parents yelling at you in the other room telling you. If you’re a solopreneur, no one’s going to care if you don’t do the work. It’s up to you.

Your goals don’t happen automatically just because that’s what you want.

Stop waiting for the perfect time to start

You know when the perfect time to start is? It’s not next week or the next full moon. It’s right now.

If you keep waiting for the right time to start, you’re going to be waiting forever.

Remember you have a choice. If you don’t start, that’s your choice. I don’t want to hear the excuse that you’re waiting for the right time.

You don’t even need to take massive steps to start. I encourage small action steps.

Start researching what you want to do. That’s taking action. Start finding the steps needed to reach your goal. At least you’re doing something. But remember, don’t get too comfortable in this stage. Sooner than later you need to put it into action.

Imagine yourself a year from now

Imagine it’s one year from now. How do you want to feel? What do you want to be doing every day?

Now think about all the dreams and goals you have. A year from now, will you regret at least not trying?

If you’re in the same meaningless job, same weight, feel the same way, or have the same bad habits one year from now, how will you feel?

I’m willing to bet like crap.

The biggest regret for people on their deathbeds is not honoring their dreams. They knew it was from the choices they made, or not made.

Like I mentioned earlier, you have a choice. You made a choice to read this (you’re awesome). After you are doing, you have a choice to do something else.

Consistently make the right choices that are aligned with your goals. When you do that over time, amazing things will happen.

My friend Amy had a great quote in a post. It said “Sometimes I fear that I’ll fail…and then I think about how I’d feel if I never tried.”

Don’t let regret win.

You can do this

You’ve come too far to back out now. You’re not getting any younger. You want to do this. You need to do this! And I believe that you can do this. So stop thinking about it, and start doing.

Let’s hear from you

How were your first four months?

What will you do these next eight months to dominate this year?

If you think others need some tough love, please share this post!

Photo by mdanys

For the next 3 days, the BIG Only 72 entrepreneurship education sale is on.

This sale starts at Monday, April 30 at Noon Eastern and ends on Wednesday, May 2 at Noon Eastern.

Thousands of people picked up last year’s package. If you’ve thought about buying any sort of business education, this is the perfect time to get a package of courses and guides for one low price.

This time, they’ve put together something special for this sale. In addition to the great courses, included is a copy of The $100 Startup by Chris Guillebeau.

I got an early copy and just finished the book. It’s really epic. Inspiring stories of entrepreneurs who started a business with less than $100 and now earn over $50,000. I’ll be re-reading it again for sure. Highly recommended for any solopreneurs out there!

PLUS I have an exclusive special bonus for those who buy through the links on my page. It’s related to a product that’s included in this package. It helped change my life. Can you guess which one? I’ll reveal the answer and special bonus at the end.

Click here to check out the sale

Here’s the full list of contributors and products included:

$100 for $1,000 in guides/courses and a book. 

(the cost of each product if purchased individually is listed in parentheses, but you get all of these for 100 bucks. )

Products in this sale (16 total):

“The $100 Startup” ($23, Hardcover w/ shipping to anywhere in the world included)

Better Blogging

• Corbett Barr – Creating, Marketing, and Designing A Blog That Matters ($40)
• Susannah Conway – Blogging From The Heart (eBook version) ($137)

Passion-based Business 

• Jonathan Mead — Identifying Your Passion Module + Workbook ($97)
• Scott Dinsmore — Live Off Your Passion (lite) ($47)

Freelancing 

• Ashley Ambirge — You Don’t Need A Job, You Need Guts ($40)
• Men With Pens — Freelancer Package: Unbelievable Characters, Guest Posting Guide, Beyond Brick & Mortar eBooks ($70)

Confidence & Courage

• Johnny B. Truant — Tao of Awesome ($79)
• Marianne Elliot — 30 Days of Courage (w/ Yoga Module) ($50)

Selling & Advertising

• Pam Slim — Ethical Selling That Works ($97)
• David Risley — Double Your Ad Income ($47)

Technology & Systems

• Joshua Kaufman — The Personal MBA Guide to Small Business Infrastructure ($49)
• Free The Apps — How to Make iPhone Apps ($97)
• Brett Kelly — Evernote Essentials ($25)

Artists & Writes

• Alyson Stanfield — Turning Your Hobby into a Career (download & audio program) ($51)
• Chris Guillebeau — Unconventional Guide to Publishing ($79)

Did you figure it out, which book ? If you said, “Free the Apps – How to Make iPhone Apps”, then you’re right! That’s THE ebook I bought when I wanted to start creating apps. I’ve mentioned it before in my $4,739 weekend post about Photo 365.

I just looked though my copy of the book again and it’s still a good overview, but I’ve learned so much more in taking action and I want to help make it easier for you to get started.

So I’m going to do a one-hour webinar (maybe longer) to teach you my iPhone app creation system.

I’ll cut through the fluff and teach you only the essentials. I’ll share with you my experience, and what other top appreneurs are doing today.

There’s so much to cover in just 60-90 minutes. So we’ll start from the very beginning with basics such as how to get a good idea, how to hire the right programmer, how much it might cost, and more. I’ll save room for Q&A as well.

What’s the value of the webinar? Well, I charge $147 for an hour of iPhone app consulting.

So for $100, you’d get all the products and guides, Chris Guillebeau’s fantastic new book shipped to you, and an hour webinar with me.

If you’re interested in the bonus, just e-mail me your receipt and I’ll e-mail everyone to figure out the best time for the webinar. If you can’t make the webinar, no problem. It’ll be recorded.

I know not everyone is into iPhone apps, and that’s okay. Still lots of great products for a ridiculous price of $100. Don’t miss out.

Click here to get in on this deal by Wednesday at Noon Eastern

Note that the links above are affiliate links, so I’ll earn some money for groceries if you choose to buy from me. Thanks as always for the support.

I’m a behind the scenes kinda guy. I love to know how someone got to the top. You can learn so much from their story. Plus it keeps me going when I need a boost.

It also puts into perspective that if we want our end result, strap on your seatbelt cause it’s going to be a wild ride.

That’s what I get from watching a show on CNBC and it’s called “How I Made My Millions”. It’s about how everyday people have taken ordinary ideas and turned them into extraordinary businesses.

Recently I watched it and Tony Horton was profiled. You may or may not know him. But if anyone’s been trying to get into shape, they likely have heard of or done P90X.

First of all, the guy is 52 years old. Fifty-two! They guy is in fantastic shape so he doesn’t look his age.

Knowing how popular P90X is, I’m not surprised Tony is a millionaire.

Still it wasn’t an overnight success. He didn’t even begin his career dreaming of being a celebrity fitness trainer. It happened through a strange turn of events.

Lots of people know Tony is the person behind P90X, but I don’t think many people really know his story.

The Early Days

He was a trained pantomime. As outgoing and loud as Tony is, it’s hard to believe he used to performed without speaking. He seems to never stop talking!

It seems pretty unrelated now, but it played a factor in who he is today. It helped overcome his stuttering and helped fund his cross country trip to move from the east coast to Los Angeles.

He moved to Los Angeles to try and be an actor. Just about every actor struggles a lot at the beginning. He made money by being a pantomime, doing standup comedy and some acting gigs.

Unexpected Advice

One day an agent told him he was chubby and needed to lose some weight if he wanted to get more acting gigs.

Most people would be offended. “What? Me lose weight?” But he took the advice and got serious about getting in shape.

Imagine if he got upset because the agent suggested he lose some weight? He wouldn’t be where he is today.

Soon at the gym people were noticing and wanting him to train them.

Then celebrities were hiring him to train them. In the interview, he said one morning he’d have Tom Petty, Billy Idol, Annie Lenox, Steven Stills all in a row. He said he was “Keeping rockers from the 70′s alive”.

Still that wasn’t making him that much money. He had $60K in credit card debt.

You never know who will change your life

He met a guy named Carl Daikeler through another client. He started training Carl and they both hit it off. Carl said they needed to work together one day, but didn’t know how yet.

Carl ended up leaving his company to start a home fitness DVD company, called Beachbody. He wanted Tony to create a workout, like he taught his celebrity clients, but do it with just resistance bands and weights.

Their first product was called Great Body Guaranteed. It did okay and made enough money to next create Power 90.

Power 90 was a workout and diet program. Carl and Jon (the other owner of the new company) both went through the program and transformed their bodies from fat to six pack abs. So they knew it would work.

Industry insiders thought they were nuts!! They thought no one wanted to workout that hard at home. It hadn’t been done before so it wouldn’t work now.

It was released in 2001. Sales did okay to keep the company afloat. In 2004, the company did $100 million in sales. Amazing.

For Tony, the royalty checks he earned were unbelievable. For 21 years, he lived in the same tiny Santa Monica apartment. Now he could afford to buy a house with a huge backyard where he could turn it into an outdoor exercise area for his clients.

Then sales started to slow down. It was time to get back to work. He needed to create something new.

P90X

Developing P90x was a long and painstaking process. When it was released  in 2004, it didn’t really catch on. That’s everyone’s nightmare when launching a product. This is what Tony said about it:

When it didn’t catch on . . . I dunno. It was disappointing, sure. But I thought it would eventually find a home. We didn’t know it would take this long, but we always believed in it. We knew it was good program. The quality of the show was way above anything ever done. I just always felt it would find its niche. It was too good not to. Then one day it took off.

P90x went viral. It was hard to miss if you were watching television late at night. It would have these amazing before and after pictures. Talk show hosts were mentioning it. You probably had friends who’ve done it and talked about it.

P90X turned into a sensation and made Beachbody, the company critics thought would never make it, and Tony Horton very rich.

Watching the interview, I could tell Tony’s passion for what he is doing. He loves it. He loves help transform people’s lives.

He’s found that cross section of doing something he’s passionate about and helping people solve a problem. It’s the sweet spot.

Even after seven years, P90x is still going strong and now there’s even the sequel, P90X2.(both Amazon aff links)

The Cool Down

Some great lessons you can learn from Tony’s story.

- What you’re doing right now doesn’t mean you will do it forever. Tony was a trained pantomime and wanted to be an actor. While trying to get more acting work, a new opportunity arose.

Whatever you’re doing now, may not be what you want to do forever, but at least be doing something.

When you’re doing something and moving forward, you create opportunities that present themselves in your life.

- You never know if the next person you meet might help you change your life. So keep networking.

- Really believe in what you’re doing and you’ll find others who will too.

Tony really believed in P90X, even though it started slow. He and Beachbody didn’t abandon the product too soon because they knew it was a quality product. It probably took longer to catch on because it was so different than any other workout out there.

Finally I end with a quote from Tony.

“It didn’t happen over night, didn’t happen in my teens, 20′s, 30′s. It happened in my 40′s. Keep doing your thing. Keep following your passion. Because if you do, it can happen.”

If you want to watch the episode online, you can watch here or go here to the main page of How I Made My Millions.

[Today is a guest post by David Moore]

Goal Setting?  

Do a Google search and you’ll find 89,100,000 results.  You’ll find S.M.A.R.T. goals, workbooks, workshops, tips, techniques, and tricks.  All of these CAN work if you DO the work.  Even with 89 million results, I’m about to share something different because it comes directly from my personal experience.

I think I enjoy the goal setting process, the writing, planning and scheduling, nearly as much as the achievement.  Have I achieved every goal I’ve set?  Of course not.  If anyone has ever done that the goals weren’t big enough.

Regardless of the goal setting methods you use, the following thoughts can help you refine and strengthen your process.  Combined, you improve the chances of achieving your goals.

1. RESEARCH

Not that you don’t already know what you want to achieve, but so some research about others who have done the same thing.  You will see a trend in how long, on average, it takes to achieve this goal or something similar.  If the research indicates that most achieve this in 6 months, it doesn’t make much sense to set your goal for 6 weeks.

For example, I recently set a goal to complete a half marathon.  I have run several 5K’s over the last few years and just completed an 8K.  So I started entertaining thoughts of completing a half marathon.  As I did my research,  I found several training programs that lasted 12 weeks.  So now I know what kind of time frame I needed to be properly prepared.

2. CALENDAR

This is my favorite part.  I go to the calendar.  I prefer using the Google monthly calendar and print out each month on a separate page.  I’m able to make notes on it and number the weeks.  I like to use different colored markers.  You can write in vacations or special events that might delay the goals progress.

Now that I knew the average time needed for my half marathon training, I was able to make detailed plans on my calendar.  I found an event that I wanted to run.  It happened to be 32 weeks out.  I took the 12 week training program and modified it for 24 weeks.  This gives me plenty of time to train and has plenty of “margin” for any emergency or injury that might occur.  This level of detail and the “extra” time for contingencies also helps with the positive mindset.  So if a setback occurs, you already know you have that built into your plan.

3. TESTS

As you progress towards your goal, it’s nice to have some checkpoints along the way just to figure out where you are.  Look at it like a ‘mid-term’ exam.  But you need something as close to the ‘real world’ or ‘real-time’ as possible.  You find out where you stand, how far you have come and what it’s gonna take to finish.

For me, this is smaller races like the 5K, 8K, or 10K’s.  I don’t plan on “peaking” for these races.  They will substitute for one of the weekly training runs under “game conditions”.   When I used to play competitive golf, this would be weekend invitationals or even practicing under certain conditions.  You then use this ‘real-time’ feedback to make any needed adjustments in your planning.

4. SUPPORT

Support of a “team” could mean the difference between success or failure.  You’ve got to have a support system.  It makes the process so much more enjoyable.  You don’t feel like you are climbing this mountain of achievement by yourself.

Hopefully, this support will come from your spouse/girlfriend, family and close friends.  Training partners (business partners) understand in an intimate way the struggles you face everyday as you press on.  Supporters can encourage, cheer for you and hold you accountable.  They can be that someone who gets in your face if you get lazy or just need a kick in the ass.

5. HUSTLE

You may not be the smartest.  You may not be the richest.  You may not be the most talented.  But you can bet your sweet ass, that nobody can work harder than you.

Pete Rose was my childhood hero when I played baseball.  So much, in fact, my nickname was “Pete”.  I wasn’t the biggest, fastest or strongest.  But nobody could out hustle me.  And I knew, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that on THAT day and during THAT workout…nobody was working their ass off harder than I was.  No one was going to out hustle me.  Hustle doesn’t take talent.  And you can’t teach hustle.

6. SACRIFICE

There is a price to pay.  Expect it. Prepare for it.  There will be sacrifice.  Hopefully it won’t be something as important as a marriage or other vital relationships. But many times, you’ve heard the stories, relationships don’t get the necessary attention because that quality time has been diverted toward the pursuit of a goal.

The bigger the goal and the bigger the stretch, the more laser-like focus and tunnel vision required.  For me personally, during the pursuit of a major goal in the mid-80’s my marriage suffered.  It didn’t fail, but it was seriously tested.

Consider all the above…and answer this:

Will you enjoy the journey and the attainment?

What lessons have you learned from success and failure during goal pursuit?

Tim Ferriss talks about the benefits of “transfer”? How can you use this goal to transfer the benefits to other areas?

Lastly, Was it worth it?

This is a guest post by David A. Moore from Living a Better Story with davidamoore.com.  He writes about living a more adventurous and inspirational life story…starting today!  You can learn more About David and follow him on Twitter @davidamoore.

Photo by Air Combat Command

Do you feel stuck in your life? Maybe you’re not where you want to be?

Don’t worry because I know how you feel.

There was a time when I felt stuck in life. I felt stuck because I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life!

I hated my job and wanted a change. But to what? I had no idea.

I had no direction in life. I was out of shape. Most of my free time was spent on the computer or watching TV.

I was too tired to be social. All I wanted to do was relax at home after surviving another night at my horrible job.

I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I had all these dreams in my mind. I either kinda tried before quitting, or didn’t even try at all.

I had nights when I cried myself to sleep. It’s embarrassing to tell you, but it’s the truth. My life sucked that bad.

If you met me, I looked like I had it all. I had a 1900 sq ft house, a BMW and a house full of whatever I wanted to buy.

Inside I felt empty. Lost. Sad. Frustrated.

I felt stuck and nothing was going to come save me.

The Turning Point

I don’t know what was different about that one night in October 2010. It was another busy and stressful night at the restaurant where I worked. That was typical.

That night while driving home, I stared straight ahead with no emotion on my face. Inside though, I had lots of anger at myself. For so many years I’ve wanted to make a change but I hadn’t yet.

I had felt this way many times before, but that night was different. That night I had this strong feeling I finally had to make a choice. I could continue down this miserable path, or make a serious effort to have the life I wanted.

I made up my mind right then. I decided I had enough! I wasn’t going to accept the way my life had become.

I had to do something different. Anything was better than how I was feeling! Even if I failed, at least I was trying. If I succeeded, it could be life changing.

This time I wouldn’t stop until I created the life I wanted for myself.

It had been five years since I’ve wanted to find work that I loved to do. I needed to stop wasting time. I had to start now and keep working today, tomorrow and until I was satisfied.

I got home and typed a manifesto to myself. I taped it up to my wall and bathroom mirror. I needed to be reminded every single day.

I did NOT want to feel what I felt that night in the car ever again.

What did I change first?

Maybe selling everything I owned, move to a new city, and start fresh would have been the best idea. Sounds exciting, but it doesn’t change the most important aspect of the situation – me.

Actually I did that. I moved to Taipei and Sydney for two years before that. I had to get away from my job. I thought moving away would give me clarity for my future.

Though I had the best time of my life in those two years, and met my future wife, I came back home to the same crappy job. The same job I tried to get away from.

20 months after that two year hiatus, I drove home in October frustrated, sad and stuck.

Looking back now, I know why I didn’t get the results I wanted.

It’s because I didn’t focus on changing ME.

This time it would be different because I would start to change from the inside.

Changing from the inside out takes time and diligence, but the rewards are infinite.

No matter what is going on around us, we can always change the biggest factor in our success, well being, health, and happiness – ourselves.

Here are three areas you can start to change today, no matter your circumstances. I guarantee if you improve in these three areas, it’ll start a snowball effect for more great changes in your life.

Health

I was very out of shape in October 2010. My pants were tight. I didn’t sleep too well at night. I just didn’t feel good about myself.

Improving my health was a top priority.

I set a crazy, but achievable goal of running a half marathon. I had never run that distance before, but I felt if I could complete a half marathon, I would be in pretty good shape.

I followed a beginner’s program and ran three miles the first week. It wasn’t easy, but every week I ran further and felt better.

I also started going to the gym twice a week to strength train.

I also changed my diet. If I was serious about losing weight, I knew I had to eat much cleaner.

Richard Branson, the billionaire entrepreneur of 400 companies, said that his #1 productivity tip is to workout. He said he gets twice as much done in a day when he does.

Why is that? When we exercise, endorphins start flowing. Because they are naturally produced by the body, endorphins are possibly the best (and most legal way) to achieve a natural high.

The more we exercise, the better we’ll feel about ourselves. We have more energy, less stress, combat disease, and sleep better.

When I felt fat and out of shape, I lacked confidence and motivation. I didn’t want to do anything.

Now I felt my mojo coming back. Overtime my body began to change. I was losing weight. I felt much better about myself.

It carried over into everything else I was doing. I had more focus into blogging and working on my first iPhone app.

In December 2010, I ran my first half marathon in 2:04. I had lost 15 pounds and felt amazing.

Attitude

One huge lesson I learned was to start taking 100% responsibility for my life. I had heard it before, but now I really understood it.

Before I’d rely on luck or a miracle to change my life. It’s like I wanted a genie to come and grant me three wishes. I know it sounds ridiculous, but that was my attitude.

I didn’t want to take responsibility for my situation. I complained so much and placed the blame on others.

Not this time. Not any more.

I began to take my life into my own hands. Every choice I made would be up to me. If I chose to stay in my crappy job, that was my choice. I had to live with it and stop complaining.

If I wanted to start a blog or create an app, it was up to me.

Every result that I would achieve would be because of a choice I had made. If I wanted great results, I had to made the right choices.

I stopped waiting for life to begin and started to take control of my life.

If I didn’t realize this, I wouldn’t be in the situation I am in right now.

Influences

I started to realize that I was feeding my brain with dirty water for so long.

What’s dirty water? It’s news, gossip, pointless television shows, and mindless web surfing.

It was junk in and junk out. Blah.

What did I get from it? Self doubt, poor results and a lack of motivation.

If I really wanted to make positive changes to my life, I had to start feeding my mind with information that would actually help me.

I needed to fill my mind with clean water.

I cut way back on watching television. I stopped reading the local paper, which is garbage and full of negativity. I still spent a lot of time online, but doing more productive reading.

It was at this time I found blogs like Smart Passive Income and Think Traffic. I learned so much valuable info on starting a blog and business. I also got inspiration from learning about their success.

I began re-reading personal development books. I went to the library and checked out audio CDs to listen to in the car. I began reading inspirational stories. I listened to motivational speeches on Youtube.

I didn’t see massive changes overnight. That’s just not realistic. But at least I was doing things that were getting me closer to the type of person I wanted to be.

Little by little, I started to think differently. I had more motivation. My outlook on life brightened. My mood improved.

Changing what I fed my brain had a huge impact on the results I have achieved thus far.

Start Today

These are areas you can start working on right now. It doesn’t matter your circumstances.

If you live in a crack house with abusive parents, you can still work on changing what’s on the inside first.

What’s inside of us is the only thing we can control. We can’t control what happens around us. We can only control our own health, thoughts, behaviors, and actions.

When you start working on these three areas, results won’t happen instantly. Too many people will try it for a month and say “Nothing has changed. This is stupid. I give up.”

However if you make these positive habits and perform them consistently, the rewards are infinite.

Personally, I have seen such a big change in myself. My wife, who knew me back when I was miserable, says I’m a completely different person. She likes this version of me and so do I.

No matter where are you are in life right now, I encourage you to take a close hard look at these three areas. If you’re not happy with the results you’re getting, work on making some changes.

If you feel stuck in life and need a way to get unstuck, start by changing these three areas of your life first.

One of the most successful entrepreneurs ever

What’s your idea of success?

Has it changed since you’ve grown? If so, you’re not alone.

Personally, what I define as successful is completely different than five years ago.

After reading the 4 Hour Work Week, it changed my whole outlook on life.

Does owning a big house and a nice car mean success? To some it does. However, it’s not the ultimate sign of success.

Our generation is different than the past. Before it was graduate college, get a job, buy a house, get married, have kids, and retire from the same company after 40 years.

Success was saving enough money for our retirement.

Sorry, but we don’t follow that path anymore. We march to a different beat.

We’re looking to follow our passion, control our time, do work we love, have freedom to enjoy life now, and more.

Here are 20 things I came up with that demonstrate success for us.

1. Having Freedom

Freedom is having control over our own life. We live the way we want. We choose when we want to work or take the day off. We call the shots. We are not a slave to the clock.

We don’t suffer through five days of work to enjoy two days off on the weekend. Every day feels like a Friday and we look forward to Mondays.

2. Living and working where we want

What’s better? Working in a cubicle every day or working from home and having the commute to the office just being steps away?

What about working anywhere in the world with an internet connection?

Success is having a mobile business.

3. Passive income

We’re making money whether we’re sleeping, working or playing. We’ve built our business to generate income every day without us touching it.

We don’t trade our time for money.

It takes work to get to that point, but we’ve built our income systems to do that.

4. Living your passion

When people ask us what we do, we’re not ashamed to say it. We love what we’re doing. We wake up every day excited to know that we get to work on something we love.

We’ve been able to find that sweet spot where we love what we’re doing, provide value to others, and get paid for it.

It’s doesn’t feel like work because we’re having so much fun.

5. Travel and Travel

Traveling is so nice I had to say it twice.

The world is a big place and there are so many wonderful places to see. We don’t want to wait till we’re over 65 to start traveling. We want to travel while we’re still young and vibrant.

We can decide where we want to go and when. No need to wait for a vacation or ask for permission.

6. Being the boss

Some love the idea of being the boss. It could be of a small business or a Fortune 500 company. Either way, when we’re the boss, we’re calling the shots.

We report only to ourselves. We control our own destiny.

7. Leaving a legacy

We want to have our work to make an impact long after we are gone. Future generations will remember what we did to help make the world a better place.

When our name is mentioned, they will remember greatness.

8. Spending more time with your kids

Many of us are building the life of your dreams right now so we can spend more time with our kids, if or when we have kids. The time we can be around our kids is invaluable.

9. More time with your family

Being able to balance work and family is a huge sign of success. A great relationship with our family is a huge factor for success as well. Being happy at home will spill over into our work.

Many people with six figure salaries work so much they barely have time to spend with their family. Is that what we want? No.

A more balanced lifestyle means we’re more successful. A happy family life is the key to a happy life.

10. Having great health

Being filthy rich isn’t going to mean much if we’re not healthy. Having our health mentally and physically means our success is well rounded.

Too often people neglect health for material success. They eat junk, drink too much alcohol, or rely on pills to help sleep. Too much stress at work carries over into our personal life and vice versa.

Don’t forget about your health.

11. Having exciting stories to tell

Being successful means we constantly get out of our comfort zone. We do what unsuccessful people aren’t willing to do.

We take that attitude and apply it outside of work. Being able to go on adventures and experience new and exciting things, adds the thrill that makes life worth living.

At the end of our life, you’ll live a life without any regret. That is success.

12. Financial Freedom

We don’t need to be a millionaire to be considered a success. Just being able to to pay all our bills and be debt free is enough for many.

We don’t stress over money.  Money allows us to live the life we want to live.

13. Time with loved ones during holidays

When we’ve worked hard during the year, it’s nice to relax during the holidays with friends and family. Great food, great conversation, and great times.

It’s a time to be thankful and we have lots to be thankful for.

14. A great night of sleep

How important is a peaceful night of sleep? So important. If we sleep great at night, it means our we’re healthy. We’re free from pain. Our minds are clear. Life is good.

15. Teaching and inspring others

Once we’ve attained a certain level of success, teaching others is rewarding. Our success is an inspiration to them. When others want to learn from us, it means they value our knowledge and experience.

They listen to what we have to say. They buy any products we have to learn more. They pack conferences to hear us peak.

We’re someone they aspire to be like.

16. Recognition

We put in so much work into what we do, it’s great to be recognized for it.

Oscar winners feel rewarded for putting in so much passion into an award winning movie.

Journalists want to interview us.

Even if you win employee of the month, it’s a small symbol of success. It means you’re doing something right and others recognize that.

17. Retiring early

If we’re able to retire early, others see it as a sign of success. Maybe we’re ready to focus on other passions. Maybe we want to do more traveling. If we’ve work hard and smart enough to allow ourself to retire early, go for it.

18. Control our own time

Time is valuable. We can always make more money, but we can’t make more than 24 hours in a day.

We are the owners of our schedule. If today is a day for the beach, we do it. If we want to spend three days working on a project, we do it.

It’s our choice and we love having that power.

19. Great Friends

Studies show that people with a group of close friends and a close community have less stress, accomplish more, and are healthier and happier.

We have great friends who get what we’re doing and our lifestyle. Not everyone will understand and that’s normal. We find those who do.

20. Giving back

Once we’ve attained financial success, we want give back to those in need. Donating to charity can mean writing a check or giving your time to make a difference.

When I asked my Facebook community what they’d do if they won the Mega Millions, many mentioned donating to charity.

We’re a group of people that want to give back.

Bonus: Private planes, mansions, and your own island

This is what we typically think of being successful. If we’re doing something we’re passionate about and reach millions of people, the money will come.

It’s not the main thing that make us successful in life. Money doesn’t buy true happiness. Instead we strive for a balance.

Now it’s Your Turn

I want to hear from you.

What’s truly important to you in the list of 20 things?

What is your definition of success?

If you enjoyed this post, please take a second to share it on Facebook, Twitter, Google+ and Stumbleupon!

Photo by Gulltaggen

[Today is a guest post by Chad Ettebrick. He created an iPhone app after reading about my story. I wanted him to share his experience.] 

Let’s face it.  We all have an idea that we think will take us from the ranks of blog readers and wantrepreneurs to the ranks of business owners, entrepreneurs, MILLIONAIRES!

If you have read Benny’s awesome posts about his luck from creating apps, then you may be interested in chasing the dream of mega-app in the app store.  I recently released my first app, and wanted to share a little about the process to hopefully inspire you to chase your dreams.

First, a little about me.  I’ve done a little of everything.  I spent time doing the corporate grind.  I’ve worked in Mom & Pop businesses.  But for me, the real goal has always been to create something.  For a couple of years, I have carried a Moleskine notebook around and recorded ideas.  The first major idea that I thought would work was an online music instrument store.  It taught me a couple things.

First, I was horribly depressed.  I used the store as a way to distract myself.  Coming off quitting a job that I hated, the store became a scapegoat for my mood and troubles.  It took 6 months to realize that I was a zombie, walking around in a horrible funk.

The second thing I learned was that when I put my mind to something, I can do it.  I created a functioning business idea out of depression.  Vendors and manufacturers were excited about the concept.  They were also scared of the concept, and scared of committing their product to an online-only start-up (they need a wake-up call, but that is for later).

Once I was able to move from my funk of depression, I started really focusing on just ideas.  Creative or not.  My notebook started to grow very fast.  It only took about 2 weeks to realize that most of what I was creating were started ideas for what could be great apps.

That is how I decided on making apps.  It also lead me to really start learning about the app creation world.  The other question it raised to me was “why make apps?”

To backtrack again, my closest friend is a large player in the tech start-up world.  He has founded and sold 2 companies.  My interest in that world has been, as a result, very strong.

The idea that I could create something that was in the same marketplace and realm as what these awesome start-up companies were doing was exciting.  So I decided that instead of just planning and planning and never acting I would make a decision and just start.

As I reread my ideas I realized that one idea was being repeated through my notes, sometimes in different ways, but usually in a very similar manner.  It was also a very simple idea that I could easily flesh out and work through.  I was sold.

It was at this time that I first read Benny’s post about Photo 365.  I was stunned.  His story was very inspiring and sort of solidified in my mind that I could do what I was thinking I could do.  It actually helped cement the idea that I could do with for less money with less work than I had planned.  It was at this point that I first reached out to Benny.  I had started researching companies to work with and looking for developers.  I was able to add a couple more developers to the list through Benny and I’s conversation.

It only took one conversation with the team that I settled on to know that they were right for me.  Thus started the process of creating my app.

From start to launch, the process took just over 2 months.  We started with fleshing out ideas and making sure that we were understanding each other.  It took about a week to learn to understand each other through the language barrier and difference in English.

I managed the project and approved all ideas, which stemmed from my original notebook ideas.  I provided the company with drawings and concepts, which were then transitioned into UX and UI (user experience and user interface) elements.  The majority of the time was spent on making sure graphics and usage were perfect.  The majority of my cost came from the development of 10 unique graphics and 10 icon graphics.

Once I had approved the graphics and icons (on about the 3rd draft) we were able to move on to programming, which only took a few days.  I received my first working copy of the app and was able to start testing.  As we finalized more details I received new working copies.  The testing process lasted about a month.  After 3 to 4 test copies, we approved the final copy and started the process of submitting to Apple.  It took about 5 days to be approved and launched late on a Thursday night.  I had finally gone from having an idea in a notebook to having created a product that was available for sale.

The process was very exciting.  It was incredibly fun and powerful to work and manage a team of developers on an idea that I had developed.  There were some struggles.  The team didn’t understand my vision at first, due to cultural differences.  It was challenging to explain why I wanted things the way I wanted them when to me they were very obvious to the way we live in the US.  We also had issues with one feature that didn’t think was needed.  Again, this was something that I really had to push back on.  However the product ended up exactly how I wanted.

I had a budget of around $4000 for my app development, and didn’t spend my entire budget.

Here is what I want you to take away from my experience, and I’m sure Benny will echo many of these items.

1.  If you want to make an app, start by recording every idea you think of for a set period of time.  It can be a week, a month, any amount of time, just start by ideating.  I included the idea, drawings of what it could look like, and action plans for creation.

2.  Pick an idea that is very simple for your first project.  If you are using a company like oDesk to facilitate your project, make sure you give each company their due research.

3.  Take the time to express your idea fully.

4.  Make sure you are serious about pursuing your app creation.  It can get very expensive very fast.

5.  Don’t think you are going to make $30,000 in a month, or $5000 in a week.  Be ready to fail.  It is only when you are ready to fail that you can put your full attention into making the best possible product.  Do what you can to ensure the product can succeed, but don’t be surprised when it doesn’t.

My biggest challenge was taking the first step.

What is stopping you from taking YOUR first step?  What tools or methods would help you get out of your comfort zone and go for it? 

Take it to the comments and let us know what is stopping you.

The process was overall very thrilling.  If you are interested in creating apps, or ideating, please contact me at chad [at] chadettelbrick [dot] com.

Chad Ettelbrick is the Founder of Current Weather, an app that focuses on the weather right now, and lets you share your weather with your Twitter followers.  He also runs the blog We Work From Phones, which focuses on mobile working and small businesses.  He also is in the process of creating an app and media company, Ettelbrick Media.

Note: At the end of the post, be sure to sign up for valuable free webinar with a special guest, Danny Iny. He’s going to share how he grew his blog from 140 monthly readers to 14,000 in less than a year, how he writes amazing 1,000+ word blog posts in less than an hour, and more. 

I wrote about 9 ways you can build a blog that matters and 10 reasons to start a blog today. I love to talk blogging so I was happy to get great feedback about it.

If you’re still waiting to start your blog, let me share a cool opportunity that came from having a blog.

My friend Annie Andre has a great blog called Practical Adventure-olgy. A couple months ago she got contacted by a certain cable network to film an episode of one their shows. How did they find her blog? Through Google! Luckily she has a video that explains what her blog is about. She’s under contract now and can’t reveal more details and I promised I wouldn’t either. Still I’m so excited for her.

Okay back to the topic today…

So you have started a blog now and you want more than your mom and dad to read it. Maybe you’re stuck at ten visitors a day.

We would all love to get more traffic, readers, subscribers, and customers sooner than later.

What if I said you grow your blog massively through one strategy.

Would that be something you’d be interested in?

What’s the #1 thing to do? Get more Twitter followers? No. Facebook Likes? No. Work on your SEO? No. Get Tim Ferris to retweet your post? No, but that would be awesome.

The #1 way to get your blog seen, get more traffic, and turn them into customers is to write guest posts.

What’s guest posting?

If you don’t know, it’s writing content for another blogger to use. It benefits both sides. They get high quality content for their readers without much work. You get featured and bring in new visitors to your blog.

It could be zero visitors to even thousands depending the size of their blog, how related your post is with their audience, and if you gave them enough reason to WANT to check out your blog.

Here is a great infographic about it.

That’s the potential from one guest post. Imagine multiplying that 10 guest posts. Not bad right?

What about doing 80+ guest posts? Imagine that effect it would have. Don’t need to imagine because Danny Iny from Firepolemarketing.com did that last year.

Here are 7 benefits from guest posting

1) Traffic – Who doesn’t want more traffic? We all do. You’re not just getting random traffic either. You’re getting targeted traffic. They just read a great post and click on your link to learn more.

It’s better to get 100 targeted readers that will come back than 1000 random ones that found you on Google and never come back.

2) More sales – If you have a brand new course, ebook, or coaching program, you can coordinate a huge promotion by doing multiple guest posts. You write something of value for their readers and at the end, you plug whatever you’re selling.

3) Relationship building – When you offer a high quality post to another blogger and they publish it, they’ll remember you. You’re helping them out. If it’s an A list blogger, you just got your foot in the door. You don’t become a random blogger anymore. That could turn into many great opportunities further down the line.

Danny Iny turned his guest posts into relationships and produced a book called Engagement from Scratch!

4) Get a good quality link – When you write a guest post, typically you’re allowed a link or two back to your blog. If that blog has a great Google Page rank, that gives your anchor text more authority in the eyes of Google searches. If I want to improve my rankings for “Get Busy Living”, I make that my anchor text.

5) Gain more subscribers – One single guest post can bring upwards of hundreds of new subscribers. That’s why it’s important to have a way to capture email addresses. An free ebook is a great offer.

They’ve given you permission to email them in the future. Vital if you want to really connect even more with your community.

6) Socia proof – When you have your post published on a bigger blog, you are free to display “Featured on _____”. How does featured on Forbes sounds? Pretty darn cool if you ask me.

My friend Noch Noch wrote a guest post on Forbes. Now on her blog she can mention it with their logo. How much social proof is that? Massive. When new readers come and they see the Forbes logo, they’ll think twice about hitting that back button quickly.

Also you could use it to your advantage when wanting to guest post for someone by mentioning where your posts have been featured.

7) You grow your authority – The more you write about your area of expertise around to different blogs, the more you can grow your authority. You could become the go to person on your topic. Again, you’re bringing them back to your blog where you can further educated them.

Convinced enough on the importance of guest posting? I hope so.

You’ll Need to Write Epic Shit For Yourself Too

In addition to doing top notch guest posts, you’re going to have to write your own epic posts for your own blog.

If you’re inviting people over to your house, you want to make sure you’re prepared.

Sounds like a lot of commitment right? It can be.

What if you don’t have time to guest post AND write for your own blog?

What if you’re not a great writer?

How can you write more guest posts, in addition to producing content for your own blog?

Find a great system.

The Freddy Kruger of Blogging

I know someone who has absolutely crushed writing guest posts.

Last year I got to know Danny Iny. I did an interview about Photo 365 for him.

Danny is a writing machine. I think of him as the Terminator.

In less than a year, he grew a no-name blog into one of the leading blogs in the industry, and even co-authored a book with some of the biggest names in the audience-building world, like Guy Kawasaki, Brian Clark, Mitch Joel, and many others.

He did this by writing.

Not just writing a little bit, but a TON.

In addition to running a business, writing 40+ posts on his own blog, writing two books and planning a wedding, he wrote more than 80+ guest posts! That’s unreal.

I’m not talking about on blogs that no one sees either. His post appeared on Copyblogger, Problogger, Think Traffic, Daily Blog Tips, and Freelance Switch to name a few.

Someone called him the Freddy Kruger of blogging. Why? Because no matter what blog you went to last year, his guest post was there!

I wasn’t the only one amazed. So many people were emailing Danny for his secret.

So he finally created a course to share his system with others.

It’s called Write Like Freddy (aff link).

In his pre-launch to just his audience, he sold out in just four hours. Now he’s ready to enroll more students.

It will help you write great posts, get them published anywhere you want, get traffic, recognition, and more sales, even if you aren’t a great writer.

The “Write Like Freddy” training program includes four training modules that will teach you how to quickly and easily write kick-ass blog posts that people will want to read and share.

He won’t just teach you how to write – He will take you step by step through every stage of the process, from choosing a target blog, to coming up with an idea, to writing an epic post, to getting the most possible mileage out of it, from beginning to end.

I know of another writing course that costs $500. Danny’s course is far more affordable. Get in early while the price is still low.

If you know me, I don’t promote fluff around here. I only promote products from people I trust and know you will get tremendous value from it.

Get started writing kick-ass blog posts that people love. 

Special Webinar on Wed March 28th, 12pm EST

On Wednesday, Danny will doing a special free webinar just for the Get Busy Living readers. I couldn’t be more excited cause it’s going to be full of value.

He’s going to share:

• How he grew his blog from 140 monthly readers to 14,000 in less than a year (that’s x100 growth!)
• How he writes amazing 1,000+ word blog posts in less than an hour
• How to write kick-ass headlines and posts (without having to be a great writer)
• And lots more…

You’ll walk away with so much you can do right away. It’s completely free to attend. Just sign up below.

Sign up for the webinar now

The number of people allowed in is limited, so don’t wait.

The topic of productivity is a popular but frustrating one for some.

There isn’t a week that goes by where I don’t see a post about how to be more productive. I know I’m always clicking on it and you likely are too.

How can we sleep less but feel more awake? How to do a 10 minute workout and lose weight? How do we just get shit done?

For some of us (myself included), productivity is something we still haven’t mastered. We keep looking for solutions!

I know what I should be doing to stay productive, but actually doing it is completely different. I still got a lot accomplished in 2011, but I know my productivity needs major improvement.

I believe anyone in the top of their field knows what it takes to be productive. They can do more in six months than some do in six years. They’ve developed a system of getting shit done and use automation to decrease the time they spend on work that’s not as fun.

What is their secret? How do they do it? Why is it such a pain in the butt for the rest of us?

What exactly is productivity?

Productivity isn’t measured in how long you work for.

It’s measured in the results you achieve in relation to what is required to produce it.

Being busy all day long doesn’t necessarily mean you’re being productive. You can be busy shuffling papers, cleaning your pencil jar and finish one important task, but it doesn’t mean you’re productive.

For example, Jim and Bob both turn in their five page sales report at the end of the day to their boss. For Jim, it took five hours. Bob just took one hour to get it done.

Who’s more productive?

Bob of course. Same results but it just took an hour to get it done.

What if Jim found a way to get it done in an hour. However, Bob had his secretary type up the sales report, while he made five extra sales calls.

Who’s more productive? Bob is. Delegating it freed up his time to make sales calls and earn more money.

That’s what productivty is about. Trying to find that sweet spot where we can get the same results but spend less, or even no time on it. Then we have more time to work on things we love, or enjoy life.

That’s how some get more done in a day than others in a whole week.

The secret isn’t as guarded as the recipe for Coca-cola of Colonel Sander’s fried chicken. The answers are out there. Everyone has access to it.

It’s trying about trying different things, finding what works best for you, seeing your results, and then doing it consistently.

So how do we get get results in the most efficient way? How do we stay on task and not get distracted? How to we create more hours in a day?

That’s the big question. That’s why there’s an endless amount of productivity tips online.

• Lifehacker  has a long list of posts just on the topic of productivity.
• Craig Jarrow has a great blog called Time Management Ninja with ways to help win the battle over wasted time.
• When I look in the Apple App store, I see so many different apps on how to stay focused, get more done, and stay organized.

That’s why virtual assistants are gaining popularity. Delegating work that’s not as enjoyable or time consuming gives us more time to do the things we love.

I’ve been using a virtual assistant service called Zirtual since last September and it’s nice to be able to get help with certain tasks and free up my time.

I’ve had Erik, co-founder of Zirtual, (what’s up!) help me figure out how to get married in Vegas, do research for blog posts, tell me how to bottle sauce, help research potential vacations, and research how to buy a mattress just to name a few.

Sure I could do all that myself, but that’s not the point. The point is those are tasks I can delegate so I have more time for other things.

They’re a startup in San Francisco and have all US college educated based VA’s. Check them out if you’re looking for a VA and tell them Benny sent you!

What works for some may not for others

The area of productivity is huge and continues to grow. First there’s more to distract us. Secondly, one might have mastered productivity, but then ten new people start looking for answers.

The reason there is an endless amount of productivity tips is because there’s no one right answer.

What works for one person may not work for others.

You just have to try different strategies and find what works for you.

I know for myself trying to be more productive is a work in progress. I’m not the person to ask for my best productivity tips. I KNOW what I should be doing. Here are just a few things I’ve read.

• Don’t check your email until you’ve done your biggest task
• Work in chunks like the Pomodoro technique
• Close all social media, web browsers and email
• Wear noise canceling headphones
• Don’t multitask

It’s so easy to read those things and think “I can do that” and then actually go out to do it.

If you ask 100 people for their best productivity tip, you’ll get more than half with a different answer I bet. Everyone one is different. You have to find the pieces of the puzzle that will fit for you.

I also learned our focus is like a muscle. We need to train it to be able to focus longer. Some can’t do something for more than five minutes without being distracted and others can focus for an hour.

It’s like running. How can some run for two hours straight and others can’t do it for five minutes? Practice. Practice. Practice. Your mind is the same way.

More free time doesn’t mean more productive

Being productive isn’t easier if you have a family, kids, spouse, and/or a full time job.

Nor is it easy if you’re single and unemployed. You might think it would be, but it’s just as easy to do everything BUT the work you’re suppose to when you have so much free time.

Plus if you have so much free time, there’s no urgency.

Someone who’s married with kids could definitely be more productive than a bum at home. It’s the same reason a 150 years of research proves that shorter work hours actually raise profits and productivity and overtime kills it. More time doesn’t mean more productive.

So what’s going to kick us in the butt to get productive? What’s going to motivate us to find the right combination of what works?

How do the successful people stay so productive? What’s their secret?

That’s what this survey below will help us figure out.

Firepole Marketing Productivity Survey

I was contacted by Danny Iny (the Freddy Krueger of blogging) and his business partner Peter over at Firepole Marketing about helping with a project they have this month. They want to find the productivity behaviors that make us successful.

Peter has created a survey to gather that information and will share the results next week.

Because I know many of you are working on something that requires your precious time, you wish you could do more in that time.

So I gladly said I’d help promote a survey they are running until March 24th. This is what Peter told me the survey is about:

The purpose of the survey is to identify the degree to which people employ certain behaviours and then figure out which one of these are commonly employed by successful people.

In addition, this whole month, they’re running a great series on productivity. Take a moment to fill out the survey. I filled it out and took me about 10 minutes.

Ask the Readers

You’re still with me? Great!

I want to hear from you. What’s your relationship with productivity? Good? Bad? Complicated?

If you’ve got a system to be more productive, please share with us.

What would you say to someone who’s looking for help?

If you’re not a productivity pro, like me, what do you know you need to stop to be more productive?

Awareness is the first step in changing bad habits.

Photo by Banalities

Some people can weather failure better than others, but I’m not one of them. It takes me a long time to work up the courage to try something new, and if I fail I will be even more careful in the future.

That’s not a good way to approach life, and I’ve been diligently working to change that for several years. It’s been a little over 2 years since my divorce. We were high school sweethearts, and I was madly in love with him from the moment I met him.

We thought we were the perfect dream team, but we didn’t take our relationship seriously, and all the pressures of life caved in on us. The biggest thing I’ve realized, while I may have been very naive, is that I gave up too quickly.

The vows of marriage should not be taken lightly. Many things in life, especially relationships, take work, dedication and trust, all of which I didn’t fully understand. Here are the biggest lessons I’ve learned on my journey.

Take your time

Whether it’s committing to a relationship or new job, or trying to get over a failed one, you have to take your time. You don’t want to make any rash decisions, or commit to something you might regret later. Only now, am I able to think clearly about the whole situation and everything that went on. I’m learning not to let other people’s views tell me what I should or shouldn’t do with my life.

Forgive yourself for any failures

Maybe you’ve lost your job, have a failed relationship or are just trying to cope. Before you can move on you need to accept the failure, and forgive yourself. This step took me many, many months to come to terms with. I felt like a huge mid-quarter life mess and screw up. I had to stop denying the truth, and forgive myself for all my failures.

Take personal accountability

Everyday we interact with all kinds of people, our co-workers, our spouse and our kids. It’s a two-way street, and we are ALL at fault in some way. Taking personal accountability for your actions will help to identify specific problems and work towards a solution. Otherwise you will keep blaming others, and continue to repeat your mistakes.

Don’t let the past dictate your future

It’s easy to give up on the future and to just make do, but that’s not living life, that’s surviving. Learn to grow, mature and progress from your past failures. Don’t let your mistakes dictate your future. All it takes is a choice, to feel the fear and do it anyway.

Learn to live and love again

I was constantly punishing myself and didn’t feel that I deserved to live a good life post-divorce. It took a lot of work, but I finally got to the place where I wanted to enjoy life again. No one judges you like you judge yourself.

Don’t be afraid to live again and to open your heart to love and to new adventures. A new relationship or a new career path is a great opportunity to do things right, to use the past as a guide, and create a successful future.

You’re not a loser, and you are not a complete failure. Take your time, learn to forgive yourself, push past the fear and choose to live an epic life.

Your life is valuable and you are worth it.

Carrie Smith, is the genius behind the Careful Cents personal finance blog. She’s a Certified Bookkeeper and Financial writer that is learning to live life to the fullest. She’s also a career junkie, social media addict, debt hater and food lover.