GBL 017: Perfection is the Killer of Many Dreams

dreams

 

I got an email from a woman who told me about her fear of rejection. It’s one of the biggest fears holding us back from a lot of things in life. She has always had a passion for writing, but fear being rejected. And her next sentence was what really stood out to me. She wanted to convince herself that her writing talents were good enough to share with the whole world.

The whole world? That’s a lot of people to please. How could I help her?

The reality is that we can’t please everyone, but sometimes we really want to. If it is not perfect and loved by all, we don’t want to do it.

We want everyone person that comes across what we do to love it. We don’t want to see any 1 star reviews. We don’t want to get a refund on a product or course we are selling.

If we write, blog, sing, act, dance, cook, or create anything, the reality is not everyone will love it. We have no idea how something we create will be received and we definitely cannot please every single person. I’ve gotten two one star reviews for this podcast. I don’t know why. I never thought it was that bad, but obviously someone really doesn’t like it. That’s okay. I can’t please everyone. It’s impossible.

Even you might see a movie you absolutely love. You tell your friends about that same movie, they go watch it, and think it’s the worst movie ever. Same exact movie. What happened?

That director makes the best movie possible. It’s impossible to please the whole world. Some will like it. Some won’t. That doesn’t stop directors from continuing to make movies.
I told her don’t convince herself her writing was great enough for the whole world. That is the wrong approach. Don’t even think about what others will think.

In today’s episode, I talk more about stop trying to make everyone happy. If you’re trying to be perfect, you’ll never finish it because perfect is elusive. When you think you’re done, you’ll find something else wrong with it.

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  • http://www.artofbreakingout.com/ ArtofBreakingOut

    Hi Benny,

    I say folks should stop focusing on how you THINK people perceive them. Most people you encounter couldn’t care less. I know it doesn’t sound great, but it’s true.

    And of course there are some who just don’t like you or what you say or produce, such is life.

    Honestly, … I want everyone to like me too, but that’ll never happen … if you try to please too many you end up too boilerplate or even worse, become another doormat. Not good for the soul :)

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  • matt kohn

    Thanks for sharing Benny! Simply reading the title I knew I’d enjoy the post. Perfection doesn’t only prevent many from achieving their goals and aspirations but also increases stress levels, as perfectionists are never satisfied. Our best is good enough – not anyone else’s. Talk soon brother!

  • http://thewalletdoctor.com/ Leonard Carter

    Great discussion! Its really important for everyone to realize that its impossible to please everyone. Ultimately you can only do your best. In order to make progress, you have to accept that some things won’t be loved by all. And that genuinely is ok.

  • Hector Avellaneda

    Benny – I totally agree with everything you had to say on this episode of the GBL podcast. If I would have waited to be a perfect writer, I would have never written my book. In fact, when I hired an editor to review my book I want to say that about 80% of the content within my book had some kind of fix, or re-wording, or restructuring, etc. But that’s okay! I am not an expert at everything and in fact I don’t want to be an expert at everything like I just mentioned in one of my recent episode, myself. What I do want to do however, is surround myself with the best people who will help me on my journey and my mission to provide value to my audience.

    Waiting to be perfect before you get started on a project is like “getting ready to get ready” – you’re never going to make progress because you’re simply never going to be ready. Moral of the story, and you did an excellent job getting this point across, you simply just have to get started.

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  • http://thewalletdoctor.com/ Leonard Carter

    Its really important to give yourself space to make mistakes. Although there can be negative consequences to mistakes, in general they are an important part of the journey. Perfection is great to strive for, and even try to expect, but its essential not to be so upset when it isn’t achieved that you give up.

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    “It isn’t the mountains ahead that wear you out, it’s the pebbles in your shoe”

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