I got an email from a woman who told me about her fear of rejection. It’s one of the biggest fears holding us back from a lot of things in life. She has always had a passion for writing, but fear being rejected. And her next sentence was what really stood out to me. She wanted to convince herself that her writing talents were good enough to share with the whole world.

The whole world? That’s a lot of people to please. How could I help her?

The reality is that we can’t please everyone, but sometimes we really want to. If it is not perfect and loved by all, we don’t want to do it.

We want everyone person that comes across what we do to love it. We don’t want to see any 1 star reviews. We don’t want to get a refund on a product or course we are selling.

If we write, blog, sing, act, dance, cook, or create anything, the reality is not everyone will love it. We have no idea how something we create will be received and we definitely cannot please every single person. I’ve gotten two one star reviews for this podcast. I don’t know why. I never thought it was that bad, but obviously someone really doesn’t like it. That’s okay. I can’t please everyone. It’s impossible.

Even you might see a movie you absolutely love. You tell your friends about that same movie, they go watch it, and think it’s the worst movie ever. Same exact movie. What happened?

That director makes the best movie possible. It’s impossible to please the whole world. Some will like it. Some won’t. That doesn’t stop directors from continuing to make movies.
I told her don’t convince herself her writing was great enough for the whole world. That is the wrong approach. Don’t even think about what others will think.

In today’s episode, I talk more about stop trying to make everyone happy. If you’re trying to be perfect, you’ll never finish it because perfect is elusive. When you think you’re done, you’ll find something else wrong with it.

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I’m walking through the aisle at Wal-Mart and I’m trying to figure out what I want for dinner. Actually it wasn’t that difficult of a choice. I was going to eat what I craved the most and would probably miss the most the next 21 days – pizza. I went to the frozen pizza aisle and got one with with sausage and pepperoni.

I felt like a death row inmate enjoying his last meal. I finished every bite even though I was beyond full. I couldn’t leave any leftovers.

Four days later

My wife and I are walking through the same aisles at Wal-Mart. This time I tried so hard to resist the pizza. It wasn’t only the pizza that was tempting me. It was the Oreos or the bag of Lay’s KC Masterpiece BBQ potato chips that I love. I was starving, but I needed to resist.

99% of my body wanted it, but I stuck to the 1% and walked out without a frozen pizza or any of the other junk foods that I love.

We dropped off some groceries at my mom’s house. While we were there, pizza was still on my mind. The past three years whenever I’ve had the tiniest bit of a craving, I’d satisfying it. I’ve always lost the battle. I tried to think of an excuse to have pizza.

It really felt like two voices were talking to me. One said, “Go ahead! What’s the big deal??” while the other one said “It’ll taste good, but you’ll regret it afterwards if you eat it.”

We went home and I immediately made a salad. The hunger went away and felt pleased that I resisted my temptations.

Why am I doing this?

The day after my final pizza I began a 21 day cleanse. The 21 day cleanse would have me eating a lot of fresh natural foods. No more dairy, carbs, processed foods, gluten, refined sugar. and meat. No pizza, fast food, and no ice cream. All the things that I absolutely love.

Why did I want to do this? Because I’ve been feeling like 100% crap. Not just recently, but for the past three years. Ever since I ran my last half marathon in February 2011, I’ve slowly gone downhill.

When I finished my last half marathon, I was in amazing shape, but then I went to Taipei to visit Eleanor and slowly went back to my old ways. When I got back months later, I couldn’t run a mile without being out of breath.

I love to eat. When I eat, I don’t just eat a small portion. I eat until I can barely breath. If there’s opportunity for dessert, I always say yes. It’s a terrible cycle.

I’ve gone through phases since college when I’ve been in great physical shape. That’s how I’d love to be all the time. However it’s always been an up and down roller coaster.

But as I’ve gotten older, my body started to change. Not sure what factors but maybe metabolism slowing down, exercising less, and eating more junk. Probably all three.

Because of the way I was eating, it had side effects. I remember last year being on vacation and I’d get these really bad headaches after taking a nap. Felt like migraines. I’d want to take a nap often because I had a huge meal. I noticed that when I went to bed, my heart was still beating really fast. That wasn’t right. I should be relaxed and calm.

I didn’t like how I looked either. I had this beer gut without drinking any beer. I looked at pictures of me and couldn’t believe this chubby guy I was looking at. It was embarrassing.

Willpower alone did not work

It seemed like everyday I’d tell myself that I was going to change.

I’m a sugar addict. I feel that is my biggest problem. I’ve tried just using willpower to eat less sugar. I sounded like a broken record cause I would always say, “No more sugar for a week” or “I’m not eating this much anymore.”

Yet I’d be back the next day doing the same thing. How good I felt while I ate sugar overpowered any thoughts of long term consequences. I only looked at instant gratification and the more I did, the weaker my willpower got.

I truly believe that sugar is an addiction just like a drug. I always thought just using willpower I could cut back on sugar. It’s not that easy.

I’ve wanted to do a 3-day juice cleanse that has become so popular. Surely I could handle that. I tried once and I made it only one day.

I tried fasting 24 hours twice a week. I survived for a couple weeks, but the problem was after a fast I’d have a huge meal.

I kept looking for a quick fix where I could still eat the foods I loved and still lose weight and feel great.

I had to stop trying that.

21 Day Cleanse – The First Attempt

In October I saw on Facebook a friend’s wife going through the 21 day cleanse. She’d post daily photos of what she made and commented often how good it tasted. I read more about the program and seemed like something I needed.

The benefits of 21 days were:

  • reboot my body
  • clean out whatever toxins I had built up
  • feel great
  • lose weight
  • get rid of food cravings

That’s exactly what I wanted.

Buying the program was not going to guarantee success. Sure I was motivated, but I’ve been motivated before when starting.

But could I do it? Could I not eat meat for that long? What about rice or bread? Would I feel irritable cause I couldn’t have sugar?

For the 21 day cleanse, I liked that it gave me a lot of recipes with great photos. It had a day by day plan of what to eat each meal. I looked through the recipes and some looked good, while others I wasn’t sure about.

I would give it a chance.

I started in November. We went to the health foods store to buy all different kinds of nuts, seeds, and other foods I’ve never bought before. My wife wasn’t going to do it. She looked at the meals and knew she couldn’t survive. She did try some of the meals and snack and loved them.

The first three days I felt fine. I thought I can do this. I wasn’t having headaches or dizziness that some people reported because of withdrawals from caffeine.

The fourth day I hit my wall. Hard. I was so hungry. Anything I couldn’t have sounded so good.

My family wanted to eat Chinese buffet on the fourth day. I hadn’t told them I was trying to do a 21 day cleanse. We go occasionally and I always eat too much. I was torn. It sounded so good. I could have said no.

Then my instant gratification side starts coming up with excuses. My thinking was I’d get rid of my craving and pick back up the day after. I’d be like a cheat day once a week. I eat clean the next six days, but this cheat day would help the cravings.

That was not part of the 21 day plan. I was bending the rules.

I went and it tasted like a 5 star meal.

The day after I ate healthy, but the day after that I had a pizza. The craving came back and I made an excuse that it was okay to have it. So much for going six days of healthy eating. I don’t know what it’s like to be addicted to drugs, but I felt like I needed my pizza to calm down. After that, I never got back on track.

I went back to my old ways. Eat out a lot. Big meals at home. Eating ice cream, chocolate and cookies.

Then we went to London, Paris, and New York in February. It’s easier to eat a lot on vacation and that’s what I did. I had the headaches and just overall discomfort again.

While on the trip, I told my wife when I got back I was going to do the 21 days. She said okay sure, but I don’t know how much confidence she had in me that I’d stick with it. Since we’ve been married, she’s heard me complain about my weight.

I was serious this time. I had my breaking point. This madness had to stop.

I needed to. I hated how I always felt. I especially hated how I looked. I’ve been complaining about it for so long. I got tired of hearing myself complain.

Continue Reading…

Get Busy Living Podcast 16

Would you walk away from a fancy job title and a six figure a year salary? It’d be hard to, but in today’s episode I talk to Farnoosh Brock who did just that.

It’s not easy to walk away especially when you decided to start an online business. It’s even harder when friends and family tell you that you’re crazy to do that. Despite that Farnoosh has succeeded and is now a speaker, coach, and writer of two books.

Topics we cover:

  • Climbing the corporate ladder
  • Defining herself through success
  • When she was the most miserable
  • What triggered her to think about leaving her job
  • What’s the one thing she wants you to take away from the interview
  • The drive that made her decide to finally resign
  • What difficulties she faced in her first year after going all-in
  • Ways that we can change the way we think that can help us
  • How asking “so what” can make you worry less
  • What made her husband leave his own six figure job
  • How she got her first traditional publishing deal
  • Myths about juicing
  • Difference between juicing and smoothies


Prolificliving.com – Her blog with great content

The Healthy Juicer’s Bible: Lose Weight, Detoxify, Fight Disease, and Live Long

The Healthy Smoothie Bible

Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead

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Get Busy Living Podcast Episode 15

When I think back over my life, I’ve found that time and time again, the hard choices I’ve made were the ones that provided lasting positive change in my life. When I took the easy road, it didn’t have any impact – it was only the hard choices that really brought about change.

I’m where I am today because I’ve had to make hard choices the past three years. They weren’t the most fun at the time. I would have rather been goofing off, watching movies, whatever was on TV, reading magazines.  but I knew I had taken the easy road before that and it led to a life I didn’t want.

If you feel like you’re not making any progress in life, or your just feel stuck, take a look at the type of choices you are making on a consistent basis.

Typically these fall into two categories: easy or hard.

The easy choice take no willpower to do. You just do them. You’re more than happy to do them. It’s comfortable. It’s easy because you’ve done it hundreds or thousands of times. It has become a habit.

The hard choice take a lot of willpower. You don’t automatically make that choice. It makes you uncomfortable. You may not want to do it. It’s hard to do because you haven’t done it that often. It’s not a habit.

When faced with a choice, we immediately will choose the easy one. It’s naturally what we want to do. We always want everything to be easier in our life. Easy feels good. Easy feels relaxing. Easy is stress free.

But the easy choice sometimes is disguised as the wrong one. It appears as the choice that will make you happier, but making the easy choice the majority of the time will lead to unwanted results in your life.

On the other hand, when you make the hard choice the majority of the time, it can lead to extraordinary results. The hard choice is what you know you should be doing. The hard choice will lead you to the edge of your comfort zone. It gets you closer to the goals you dream about.

It is a tough battle when deciding between the two. They don’t get along. They’re like the angel and the devil that sits on your shoulders talking to you. Each one wants you to listen to them.

The easy choice wants you to take the rest of the day off. Just begin tomorrow it tells you. It wants you to turn on the TV and find something interesting to watch, instead of what you really need to be doing.

The hard choice wants you to do what you said you were going to do. It doesn’t want you to put it off till tomorrow. It wants to make your dreams come true for you, but it can’t do it for you. You have to do the work. It tells you to turn off the TV, and do what you should be doing.

Which one do you choose most of the time?

Listen to episode 15 to learn more!


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Singapore A380 Suites

Flying in the A380 Suites

This episode is about one of my favorite hobbies. It’s something I began to do when I started to get busy living.

I went back and forth if I should do an episode about this because it’s different than the topics I’ve covered so far. However to me it fits under the get busy living theme. I’m sure many of you love to travel or would love to travel more. You want to travel like a millionaire without actually paying full price.

I’m going to say before you decide to listen to this episode or not is if traveling isn’t for you, then this podcast won’t be helpful to you. I just want to be honest upfront because I know your time is valuable.

If you don’t live in the United States, it’s going to be harder to take advantage of many of the offers I talk about. It doesn’t mean there aren’t travel deals in the country you live, but everything I talk about assumes that you live in the United States.

I know i have listeners from all around the world and just want to be upfront because I value your time.

If you’re still with me, then let’s get started to talk about traveling.

Traveling is something that I wanted to do more of when I dreamt of the type of life I wanted to create. That’s why I wanted more freedom in life.  I wanted to travel. Traveling gets me excited. I love being at airports. I get excited the night before I know we’re going somewhere.

However if I wanted to be able to travel more, I had to figure out a way to make it more affordable. That’s what led me to travel hacking starting in 2011. And it has allowed my wife and I to take trips we would never be able to afford.

When we travel now, I look at our options for flights and hotels. Sometimes I’ll use the points and miles I’ve collected to lower the cost or make it free. Or if the price is right, I’ll just pay and save those points and miles.

The points and miles have allowed us to take amazing trips, stay in nice hotels for half the cost.

I hope by the end of the episode you get a great overview of the potential with travel hacking and how to get started.

Some topics I cover:

  • What is a mistake fare?
  • How we stayed in a $550 per night hotel for only$164 per night
  • What is travel hacking?
  • How i got started with travel hacking
  • My mistake when getting my first credit card
  • How to get a two night stay valued at $2000+ for free
  • Why changing your points into cash is a horrible idea
  • How to quickly get elite status at hotels
  • How to check in luggage for free
  • Who should not be signing up for credit cards
  • How to double the rewards you get
  • When I keep paying the annual free and when I cancel
  • An example of how my wife will fly domestically for free with me until the end of 2015
  • and more…

Links for this episode:

Resource to get updates about travel deals:

Sign up for the two credit cards I mention (both not affiliate links):

My favorite travel blogs:

To learn how to get started travel hacking:

Travel Hacking Cartel run by Chris Guillebeau. Guaranteed to get you 4 free tickets per year. Try it for 14 for only $1. (affiliate link)


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Get Busy Living podcast 13

We’re going to have a lot of average things in our life, but love shouldn’t be one of them.

Just because we get along with someone so well doesn’t mean they are the best for us. Sometimes true love isn’t simple, but in many ways, it’s always worth it. I know it’s hard to do most times, because when there’s nothing really wrong with our relationship there’s no reason to break up, but there is.

If your heart has been telling you something else for awhile, then maybe it’s time to listen to it.

Because we need to and deserve love that leaves us feeling thankful everyday.

If that’s what you want, don’t settle till you have it.

I’m lucky I found extraordinary love, but it wasn’t easy. To meet my wife, I had to go through tough times and uncertainty. I didn’t just meet my wife and knew immediately I was going to marry her. I wish it was that easy. I had to break someone’s heart first, trust my gut, and then take risks I’ve never taken before.

Hope you enjoy episode 13!


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