Stop Wishing for Life to be Easier

There’s a big problem out there and it is inside many of us. The problem is many of us want life to be easier. We want change to be easier. We want to lose weight easier. We want to have more confidence easier. We want money to be growing on trees. We want everything to go right.

Technology has helped make it easier in certain areas, but in other areas it isn’t going to help us. It’s dangerous to want everything in life to be easier. It can lead to a life that we don’t want.

Let’s take a look at the definition of easy

“achieved without great effort; presenting few difficulties”

Yes it would be wonderful if the life that we dream about came without great effort. That’s why diet pills are a $3 billion a year industry. We get bombarded with get rich quick offers. Happiness can be had for four easy payments of $19.95.

The desire for an easy life with everything we want is a problem. We haven’t always been this way. We didn’t start off wanting an easy life.

Since we were born, life has presented difficulties for us, but we were resilient. We tried to talk, but it made no sense. If we were hungry, we couldn’t say anything so we cried.

We started to crawl. We tried stand, but it wasn’t easy. We didn’t give up. If we fell, we got back up. If we hit our head running into a wall, we’d be back running near that wall one minute later. We weren’t born quitters.

Then something happened, but it didn’t change overnight.

We now are expected to be rational adults. A rational adults wouldn’t do anything crazy. We’ve been taught to be more safe. Take less risks. Go for security. Don’t ruffle any feathers. Don’t make a scene. Blend in.

Life will be easier that way.

A job is better than no job is what we hear, despite knowing how much we hate that job. It’s easier to stay in a miserable job than to quit and search for another.

As we have gotten older, we’ve lost that sense of fearlessness. We think before we do. Sometimes we think so much that we do nothing. We’re not fighters. We are more easily to quit.

What happened?

We have become brainwashed. We have listened to what our parents, friends, relatives, and society have told us. We hear it so much we believe that is the only reality. We didn’t change overnight. It happened slowly overtime.

We rationalize too much. The freedom we have is actually a bad thing. Too many choices can paralyze us. We want some guidance, but when we follow what others say we should do, instead of listening to our hearts, it kills us on the inside.

We feel that life sucks. It isn’t easy anymore. Those instincts we were born with are still a part of us, but buried by layers of conformity.

It’s a shame

This time is the best time in our life. It doesn’t matter how old we are. What matters is that we’re still alive. That’s why it’s an amazing time. There is so much in the world for us.

One of the biggest problems is that we want success and happiness, but we want it to come without effort. We don’t want to struggle, fail, or face embarrassment. We don’t want to be rejected.

We want everything to be perfect. We want our first business idea to be the big one. We want anything we do for the very first time to be THE one. The one that brings in money, successful, and recognition. We want it and we want it now.

Never mind that we have never started a business in our life. Never mind that we are just a beginner. We want it to be easy. It’s stupid to think we get everything right the first time to do it, but that’s what we hope for.

This kind of thinking leads to getting nothing done. If we expect perfection, we’re creating a impossible reality. Since we know perfection will not happen, we do not even begin. A great life isn’t going to come easy. That’s the reality.

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No Success without Failure

People of greatness share a common attribute: failure. That might surprise you but if you go back and look at anyone that has had success, in any field, you will see that an important part of success is learning how to fail and how to rise above it.

Failure is something the average person does everything to avoid. They believe that successful people got there because they got lucky. Having that luck would meant an express pass to success and avoiding all failure.

The fact is successful people use failure, not as a reason to quit, but as a learning experience and motivator to achieve something bigger.

Nobody wants to fail. Just because failure is actually a good thing for you doesn’t mean that you should do everything you can to fail. If you start with the mindset that you’re going to fail, then you will. It also means you will just give it half your effort because you anticipate failure.

Successful people hate to fail. They just don’t fear it. The risk is worth it. They also understand how to view failure so it lessens the impact and use it to become better.

What does fear do to you?

Fear physically will stop you from doing any behavior that seems risky. It doesn’t matter if you’re writing your first book, asking a guy or girl for a date, or trying to start your own business. Your brain’s reaction is the same. It thinks, “I don’t know about this. It’s scary. Think of the worst possible results. Don’t take a chance.” It will stop you before you even get started.

Our brain wants to protect us from something that is new. It doesn’t like surprises and it definitely doesn’t like risks. However, doing that prevents us from taking chances to be successful or go after a big dream.

If we fail, we like to assume the worst will happen. The world will end! The whole will know! If I quit my job, I’ll run out of money. If I talk to that girl, she’s going to laugh at how stupid I am. If I start that business, I will lose time and money if it fails.

We let fear hold us back because we see the worst possible scenario as more important than the idea of any success. What that means is we do not want the worst possible scenario to happen. We will do whatever we can to avoid it and we believe the only way is to not take the risk. Even if that means missing a chance to succeed.

These days nobody has the time keep track of our failures. They have enough of their own problems to worry about. If we fail, at worst a small number of people will know and they will soon forget about it.

(Those that do have the time to constantly remind you of your failures are people you need to distance yourself from. Now.)

The only person we have to face every single day is ourself. Look in the mirror and ask if is it better to give it our best shot, and fail, or to live with regret knowing that we never tried at all?

Those that decide to take action will find amazing resources available for them to reach their goals.

Anything we want to learn is a Google search and a few clicks away. It is contained in books and courses. We have resources now to be a filmmaker (Youtube and Vimeo), a podcaster (iTunes), an author (Kindle), a writer (blog), an online instructor (Udemy) and more.

If we need money for a project, we don’t have to go to sell the house, borrow money from friends and family, or max out our credit cards. We can post our project on Kickstarter or Indiegogo.

Anyone has access to this, but it is fear that stops so many from using it.

How to overcome fear of failure

Almost all our fears are now self-created. We scare ourselves by imagining negative outcomes to any activity we might pursue or experience. Because we are the ones imagining, we are also the ones who can stop fear and bring ourselves into a state of clarity by facing the actual facts, rather than giving in to our imaginations. Psychologists like to say that fear means:

Fantasized
Experiences
Appearing
Real

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who are you to deny greatness? If you deny it to yourself, you deny it to the whole world

I got an email from a woman who told me about her fear of rejection. She has always had a passion for writing, but fear being rejected. She wanted to convince herself that her writing talents were good enough to share with the whole world.

The whole world? That’s a lot of people to please. How could I help her?

I started typing and words were just flowing out. I hit send and then realized she’s not the only one who fears creating something and putting it out there. If it is not perfect and loved by all, we don’t want to do it.

Perfection is the killer of many dreams.

We can’t please everyone

If we write, blog, sing, act, dance, cook, or create anything, the reality is not everyone will love it. We have no idea how something we create will be received and we definitely cannot please every single person.

I told her don’t convince herself her writing was great enough for the whole world. That is the wrong approach. Don’t even think about what others will think.

Just write because that’s what she wanted to do.

“We must do our work for its own sake, not for fortune or attention or applause.” – Steven Pressfield

Do what makes you feel alive

When I was younger I loved to draw. I would use photos of baseball players in magazines and sketch them. I built model airplanes. I took a drawing class and photography class in high school. I took an acting class in college. I loved all of it.

When I felt stuck in life, I know one of the biggest reasons I didn’t feel happy. My creativity was missing from my life. After college, I didn’t do as much. When I wasn’t working, I watched a lot of TV.

My job at the restaurant didn’t allow me to be creative in the way I really enjoyed. I was just a robot doing the same thing every time.

When I started this blog, I felt excited again. I was able to use my creativity for all aspects of this blog. Though I had never developed a iPhone app, it was so cool to take an idea in my mind and start to see it come to life. That is the type of creativity I enjoy.

What makes you feel alive? Do you have a passion for something, but too scared to do it?

“If you find yourself asking yourself (and your friends), “Am I really a writer? Am I really an artist?” chances are you are. The counterfeit innovator is wildly self-confident. The real one is scared to death.”  - Steven Pressfield

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36

The last two years I’ve had great responses to the posts I’ve done for my birthday. Two years ago I wrote 34 Life Lessons I’ve Learned in 34 Years, and last year I wrote 35 Things I’ver Never Told You or Many People Actually.

It’s that time again because on July 21st, I turned 36.

It’s hard to believe I’m six years into my 30s. I remember when I turned 30 I told myself the next 10 years were going to be better than the last 10. They had to be because I entered my 30s more lost and confused than any point in my life.

I didn’t have a plan though. I didn’t know what I was going to do. I was still searching for a way to make money so I could leave my job working at the family restaurant. I was still searching for what would make me happy and excited about life.

I was determined though because I didn’t want these next 10 years to feel like a waste.

Amazing things have happened these last six years. I finally have direction in my life. I feel excited about my future. I’ve had some great success. I found true love.

I have listed 36 reasons my life has changed since I turned 30. These weren’t all done at one time. They’ve happened over the last six years. All were pivotal to changing me, getting results, and becoming the person I am today.

They are listed in no particular order of importance.

1. Became the person I wanted to be

Before I had tried to follow steps A to Z to achieve my goals. We all do that, but it never worked out for me so I had to try something different. Instead of asking “What do I need to do?”, I learned to ask myself, “Who do I need to become?”

Makes such a big difference. Instead of just following the steps, I had to become the person that would achieve the goals I wanted. I needed to change myself FIRST, so I could have success. Not the other way around.

I achieved #1 because of all the reasons below.

2. Stopped reading and watching the local news

I used to read the local paper every day. Now I don’t. “But Benny you should be a good citizen and know what’s going on in your city!” I don’t need to know what’s going on. Honestly it doesn’t help me. Plus if I opened the newspaper, it is mostly about all the bad stuff that is going on. Since I’ve stopped reading it, I feel so much better.

3. Cut back on watching TV

I used to have the TV on all the time. Even if I wasn’t watching it, I’d have it on. By cutting back on watching TV, I’ve gained so many hours where I could be doing something productive. I still watch TV, but not as much. Sometimes I go days without turning it on.

4. Kept a gratitude journal

Before I turned 30, I was not thankful for anything in my life. I had money, a house, car, and my health, but I was always focused on what I didn’t have. When I was 33, I started a gratitude journal. I wrote in it every morning for a few minutes. I enjoyed it so much, I developed an iPhone app, Gratitude Journal 365.

5. Exercised

In my 30s, I’ve found my biggest transformations have happened when I was physically at my best. I took kickboxing class in Taipei, and was by far in the best shape of my life. My confidence was sky high and eventually I met my wife at a club, which I used to hate going to because I felt I didn’t belong. (Turns out to be lots of fun).

In 2010, feeling stuck in life and out of shape, I trained for my first ever half marathon. I ran my first one in December. Then in February I ran a second one. It was around this time I began this blog and started work on my first iPhone app, Photo 365.

I always feel more focused and productive when I do exercise.

6. Wrote a letter to myself

I didn’t understand the power of writing letters, but it was something I felt would help me. One night in October 2010, after a terrible night at work, that’s what I did. I needed to get stuff off my chest, and have a reminder to stop wasting my life and take action. I typed it on my computer, printed it out, and taped it to my wall. From that day on, I was going to start making changes in my life that I wanted.

I still have that letter on my wall.

I’ve found other stories of people writing letters and how it’s helped them get out from terrible situations in life.

7. Took 100% responsibility for my life

If I wanted to have the type of life I dreamt of, it was up to me to get it. I had to stop waiting for someone else, and stop blaming others. If I was going to be happy and wealthy, it was because of me. If I was going to be unhappy and poor, it was because of me.

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World Domination Summit 2013

Chris Guillebeau closing WDS 2013 with a toast

For two years I’ve been sitting at home while World Domination Summit was going on. Both years, I thought about coming. Last year I nearly bought a ticket from someone who couldn’t go. I thought I should wait another year, which basically was a terrible excuse.

This year I told myself I needed to finally go so I wouldn’t be at home reading the tweets, looking at the photos, reading the posts about the experience and regretting it.

I came to WDS excited but nervous. There was going to be 3,000 attendees this year up from 1,000 last year. I didn’t know how that was going to feel. Was it going to be overwhelming?

I lean towards being an introvert for sure. I like my quiet time to recharge. Sometimes being around social situations for too long drains me.

I know that WDS is a conference full of introverts. Even the organizer, Chris Guillebeau is an introvert. There were activities planned specifically for introverts.

I didn’t want to let my introverted side dominate this weekend. I didn’t want to be that guy standing in the corner staring at my iPhone and looking around the room at all the amazing conversations going on. I knew I would regret it.

I’ve been to only two conferences before and they were Blogworld/New Media Expo. Both times I’ve been anti-social outside of the actual conference. Instead of going out, I stayed in my hotel room. I just didn’t feel comfortable being social. Maybe cause I didn’t have a group of people I felt comfortable with, but probably it was just because of my own insecurities.

I told myself this weekend I was going to get outside of my comfort zone. I would be social and start conversations with people I didn’t know. I reminded myself to just smile and everything would be fine.

What I realized was that I didn’t need to force myself to be out of my comfort zone. The environment energized me. It was easy for me to start a conversation with people I didn’t know. Being around people like-minded people really helped.

I still had my moments where I felt nervous during conversations. In those time, I just listened and smiled.

In the end, I surpassed the expectations I set for myself. I left with no regrets and lots of memories.

A First Class Conference

The event is really well done. Chris Gulliebeau and his team did a great job down to the last detail. For the opening party, he rented out the Oregon Zoo. Not just a part of the zoo, but the entire zoo. There were skeeball machines, a mechanical bull, drinks, food, and a marching band on stage.

When I looked at the names of the speakers, some I had heard of before, but many I had no idea who they were. There was even a piano player who would perform. I thought that was unusual.

However, the group of speakers put together for this conference blew me away. Even though I had no idea who some were, I absolutely loved what each and every single one shared. From talking with other attendees they felt the same way.

I wanted to just share a few of them.

The guy who played the piano is Steve Schalchlin. He’s an American songwriter, actor and musician. He is widely regarded as one of the first HIV/AIDS bloggers, beginning his in 1996 to keep family and friends updated on his failing health.

The songs he played were songs he wrote that saved his life. It helped him get better. He played them with emotion and I read comments online afterward that it moved some to tears.

Another speaker was Jia Jiang. I knew his story beforehand and if you’re on my mailing list, a couple months ago I emailed a TEDx talk he did because I absolutely loved it. Jia wanted to get over his fear of rejection after an experience that caused him to nearly give up on his dream. So he began an experiment where he’d try and get rejected 100 times. Some were like asking a police officer if he could drive his car, asking a pilot if he could fly his plane, asking a homeowner if he could play soccer in his backyard. The crazy thing was all of them said yes.

Though I knew his story, I still got chills from hearing him tell it again. It was much better than his TEDx Talk. I had happy tears in my eyes. I just loved his story.

A lot people in the audience didn’t know him or his story, but he got the biggest standing ovation of the weekend by far.

Finally, I’ve followed Darren Rowse from Problogger since I began blogging. When I saw his name as a speaker, I didn’t think he was going to talk about blogging. So what would he talk about? Turns out, he gave an phenomenal talk. He spoke about chasing your dreams and told his story, with embarrassing childhood photographs, about the different dreams he had throughout life. Also at the end, he appeared in a Superman costume because that was a childhood dream.

Darren Rowse Problogger Superman

All the speakers were amazing, but I just wanted to mention these few unconventional speakers.

Laughter

I knew the event would be full of inspiration based on I’ve read in the past. What I didn’t realize was how much I would laugh this whole weekend.

If we were at a Tony Robbins conference, we’d get inspiration, but I doubt we’d remember how much we laughed. Here we got both.

Even Chris Guillebeau was making great jokes on stage. Who knew he could be that funny? I didn’t. I don’t know if he rehearsed them or not, but they came off very natural and got huge laughs.

Every speaker had so many moments in their talks that made everyone laugh and cheer. I believe a lot of the positive energy and good vibes that attendees went back home with were because of laughing so much.

It was easy to be talking to people the whole weekend and either laughing or having a smile on my face.

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Only72.com

(Note: The Only72.com sale is now over, but you can still enter your name and email and be notified when the next sale will be.)

Today I’m really excited about two things.

First is that the Only72.com sale is back! It is an amazing package being offered at a ridiculously great value. I’m so excited by what is being offered this year that I will definitely be buying it!

If you don’t know what the Only 72 sale is, it’s a group of hand picked courses, put together in a package and offered at a low price. It is only for sale for 72 hours starting right now. After that, this package will never be sold together like this.

Secondly, I’ve got a good friend of mine and someone who I always say inspired me to change my life here at Get Busy Living today. He’s Pat Flynn, who runs Smart Passive Income.

He’s an amazing guy, well respected, open and honest. Pat’s story is quite amazing. Pat was laid off from his job and unsure what was next for him. Five years later, he is an Amazon Bestselling author with Let Go, public speaker, podcaster, and runs a business that generates $50,000+ a month. If I do the math that’s over $1,600 a day. Amazing! Being laid off from his job was probably the best thing that’s ever happened.

Now Pat has joined the Only 72 team. He was asked by Adam Baker, who is one of the original co-founders of Only 72, to join the team when the other co-founder moved on to different projects.

By bringing Pat aboard, there’s been a lot of changes, but in a great way!

Pat was super nice to answer some questions here at Get Busy Living. We talk about Only72, creating his first product, how he was able to move forward after being laid off, advice he has for those who fear failure, how he got involved in a Hollywood movie, and more!

First let me tell you exactly about the Only 72 package, then the interview with Pat will make more sense.

At the end of this post, find out about my bonuses if you buy this package from me.

Let’s go!

What is exactly in Only 72?

The bundle is called the Be Everywhere Bundle.

It’ll serve the huge market of people who have an idea or have started a platform and need help to focus that concept and move it onto other platforms to grow their audience.

Here are the six courses included.

Pat Flynn is contributing his first course called Breakthrough Blogging - and is exactly what many people need to get over there “blogging wall.”

  • It’s targeted at bloggers who have started, but hit a plateau or aren’t seeing the results they want. This unique positions it apart from the more popular “how to start a blog” targeting.
  • The course lessons follow Growth, Time/productivity, Mental challenges, Skill/knowledge, and People skills.
  • Will have comments and interactions on each lesson for the community.
  • FAQ section for bloggers who are stuck to leave their questions and get answers.

Scott Dinsmore is handpicking four of the modules from his $500 How to Connect With Anyone training. Scott is widely considered on of the leaders in helping entrepreneurs build genuine connections – and does a fantastic job at making a vague topic incredibly tangible with worksheets and extra videos to study.

  • Creating Your Relationship Road Map, Setting Up Your Tools & Integrating to Daily Life.
  • Overcoming Approach Anxiety & Creating Instant Rapport
  • Creating Referrals & Enlisting the Help of Others
  • Creating Genuine Online Connections

Stillmotion is an Emmy-award winning production studio that also helps train professional filmmakers on how to tell deeper stories. Adam Baker worked with them to create a series of training modules called Better Web Videos - targeted for the smallest and simplest changes bloggers, authors, and speakers could make to have a huge impact on the videos they produce for their platforms.

  • Content focused on people creating “talking head” videos into camera (80-90% of all videos produced by content creators).
  • Covers everything from webcam/iPhone up to beginning DSLR options for filmmakers. Focuses gear recommendations of strategically saving money (getting the full use out of the $50 option before buying the $500) etc…
  • Modules on Audio, Lighting (with completely demo), Camera, and Content.

Gideon Shalwick is revamping his popular Rapid Video Blogging course – and he’s putting it all inside of this bundle! This is great because Stillmotion’s contribution only talks about how to make a higher quality video – but Gideon’s focused more on the content and how to get traffic, relationships, and momentum once you place it online.

  • Video Domination Hub, which is a system for taking advantage of the relationships you’ve built and generating leads from them to your videos
  • How to create content that gets people to take action – especially in your videos.
  • Viral videos and theory, including why videos go viral.
  • Monetization strategies for your online videos.

Cathy Presland is the creator of one of the top courses on Udemy (in any niche) – this one happens to be called Publish Your Book on Kindle. So many content creators are shifting to take advantage of the the simplicity in self publishing – and right now Kindle is King. (And Cathy is Queen of Kindle publishing).

  • What book you should write – even if you think you already know – so that you reach more people
  • How a book fits into your bigger picture. Whether it’s to promote your business, whether it’s purely for profit, and how you can lever it for new opportunities
  • How to make the writing easy with frameworks to organise the content you already have and productivity tips that mean you WILL finish that book!
  • How to format your book, design the perfect cover, and position your categories and keywords.
  • 98 lectures and over 13 hours of content.

Cliff Ravenscraft’s name is essentially synonymous with podcasting. Cliff = podcasting. Just about any blogger who runs a successful podcast, learned from Cliff. Normally his podcast course costs $1,999, so this is the first time he’s offered a special version of his course.

  • Before You Record Your First Episode — This includes audio and PDF content and has only been available to Cliff’s Podcasting A-Z clients.
  • WordPress for Podcasters – Walks you through everything you need to do with your blog in order to host your podcast’s feed.
  • Equipment Options for Every Budget – Regardless of your budget, Cliff walks you through every option to consider when it comes to getting the right equipment to do your podcast.
  • Mixer Basics – Walks you through everything you need to know about a mixer.  How to use it, what each dial/knob/button does and how to set it up.
  • Podcasters Guide to Recording: Co-Hosts, Guests and Telephone Interviews – Goes through the difference between each, how to use each for your show, and the sound quality that’s acceptable for each.
  • Passive Income for Podcasters – strategies and tactics for earning a passive income from your podcast.

Why I love this year’s package the most

One thing they have done is focused more on quality over quantity. Before there were many products in the sale, but two things would happen after buying.

  1. Not knowing where to start
  2. Not finishing

I was guilty of that.

This time it is a more step-by-step approach and it’s more focused.

They recommend starting with Pat’s blogging course, then moving to Scott’s networking course. After that you can choose to focus on doing videos, writing your first book, or starting your podcast.

Also all the courses are delivered by video. In the past it would be a bunch of PDFs and some courses. This is much higher quality.

Plus they don’t just want to give you these courses and that is it. They have something very special planned for all buyers, which Pat will explain in the interview.

Interview with Pat Flynn

Pat Flynn Smart Passive Income Let Go

I’m so excited by what you and the Only72.com team have put together this year. I think it is the best yet.

First describe who would be a great fit for this package?

Pat: Thank you Benny! We’ve definitely put a lot of hard work into coordinating this next package and I’m really excited to share a little bit about it with your audience today!

This package is for anyone with an online presence who wants to stand out of the crowd. If you want to expand your reach, increase your authority and gain more crediblity in whatever niche you’re in, this bundle has all of the information you need to truly make that happen.

This is the “Be Everywhere Bundle”, which is comprised of the top courses from experts in each of their given fields to help you get maximum impact on various platforms and content mediums. All the top information on blogging, podcasting, web videos & YouTube, Amazon Kindle publishing as well as a course on making connections with people to bring it all together – it’s definitely all that a person needs to give themselves optimal presense online.

This is based off of my “Be Everywhere” strategy that I’ve personally become known for and presented about at various conferences. I called it this because I started to notice several people emailing me and sending me messages to the tune of “Pat! I don’t know how you do it, but everywhere I go – there you are! You’re everywhere!”

This package will help you build an audience that will react the same way.

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