(My course, Get Busy Living in 30 is now open again. See the end of the post for details.)
When I was in school, I took a lot of classes that I knew I would never use. Calculus? Physics? English literature? For some, it was an important class, but for the majority of us, it was stuff we would never use again.
I wish they would have taught classes that would have been more useful to the majority of students. A class that we didn’t think we needed at the time, but ten years later, we’d think, “I’m so glad they taught that class.”
Maybe like a class titled “Life Lessons: The Honest Truth”.
I would love to be a guest lecturer for a day to high school and college kids and tell them about “real life”. Instead schools don’t teach us this stuff and that’s why there are 30 year olds who refuse to grow up and act like life owes them something.
I was one of those. When I turned 30, I was more lost and confused than when I was 20. My life was going backwards. I knew how much my life sucked, but I didn’t want to deal with the responsibility of putting my life in my own hands.
It’s a lot of power. What if I made the wrong choices? What if I can’t decide? I would have preferred someone else make the tough decisions for me. Despite being an adult, I didn’t act like one. What I was doing was waiting for someone else to come along and point me in the right direction.
Wasn’t gonna happen. I now realize there were plenty of people out there willing to help me, but they weren’t actively looking for me. They were just there.
I had to seek help myself.
I’m not going to blame the school system for not teaching me this. I’m not going to blame my parents. They were just focused on wanting me to make good grades and going to a good college like typical Asian parents.
It would be nice if schools now taught kids real valuable life lessons. Took me till I was 32 to understand the real truth.
My big realization
I’m about to share with you the one piece of advice that made me realize that I better start taking shit seriously. It’s related to the Albert Einstein quote about the definition of insanity. This is something I thought to myself over and over again.
If what you have been doing isn’t working, you need to change. Otherwise your future will be a repeat of the same old shit. <–Click to tweet
I had some moments of happiness, but it just temporarily covered the real pain that was eating away inside. The pain of wanting a better life, doing work I enjoyed, being happy, and having the freedom I craved.
That advice was like a match to gasoline. It made me more determined than I had ever been before to take back control of my life. I already had a preview of my future, and I damn sure didn’t want that.
I started a bunch of lifestyle changes. I followed principles of happiness and success that have been around for generations. Stuff that have stood the test of time. Principles that people a hundred years from now will still be using.
I got rid of the microwave mentality that had brainwashed me. It was so toxic to me, but I never realized it. I embraced change. I didn’t fear it even when it was difficult. It was difficult and painful at times. Change is never easy.
But the discomfort was temporary. And after a while, I didn’t notice it as much because the satisfaction of real change was so much stronger.
When you roll up your sleeves and announce to yourself and the world that you’re fed up with the status quo, and you’re gonna change the direction of your life back towards something you actually want, it is a moment you will never forget.
You need to learn to enjoy it on your own, however. Some of your friends will resist your efforts to change. They’ll feel threatened. Because when you start taking responsibility for your life, and stop making excuses, then good things start happening for you.
And suddenly you have little in common with your friends who still believe in blaming their lack of progress on everything, but their own laziness. You’re not one of them anymore and they don’t like that.
Screw them. You don’t need them. You will find a whole new world of friends to replace your lazy friends and you will enjoy your new friends even more.
I’m here to tell you that the path gets easier despite the challenges you will face and very soon your old life will feel so distant. I look back now and just chuckle at the type of person I used to be.
When you begin to take responsibility of your life, you start attracting better people, more opportunities, have better relationships, and feel much happier.
And you’re going to like the person you become.
(This is the shortened version of what I’d tell students.)
An Awesome Teacher
I got an email last September from a high school who told me she’s had her student read my ebook in class and they discuss it.
My high school students and I have been studying your book, Getting A Life That Doesn’t Suck. I help them to adjust the thought patterns for high school students and particularly for those who have grown up in extreme at risk situations. It has worked well and they are starting to think that your ideas are more than abstract.
That is awesome.
She’s also taken emails that I send out to subscribers and discusses it with her students. I love hear that.
I believe that’s what more young kids need. So that when they become adults, and enter the real world, they understand they don’t get trophies for just showing up in life.
They know that people who work hard can run circles around those who are just talented. They understand that no matter the environment they grew up in, they can overcome it if they choose.
Get Busy Living in 30
No matter how old we are now it’s never too late to live the life we want. Since we never learned how to achieve real lasting success and happiness, it doesn’t mean you begin right now.
If you’re ready to start, let me help you.
My course, Get Busy Living in 30 is now open again.
It’s 30 days to get your back on track in life.
If you’re feeling stuck and hopeless, let me help you get the happier, confident, optimistic you back so you can start to create the life you truly want.