Let’s say you work at a dead end job. The work environment is stressful. You don’t like your co-workers. Your boss doesn’t care or listen. You desperately want to find a new job, but you’re afraid. You’re afraid you’re not qualified for anything else. You’re afraid you’ll get a new job and it’ll be the same and you won’t like it. You’re afraid that you’ll get rejected over and over again when applying.
What’s stopping you is the fear of failure and fear of the unknown and I want you to see that by taking a chance and trying that you will always be making the better choice.
I’m going to use a dead end job as example but anything can apply to this way of thinking.
One reason you stay at this dead end job is because you’re comfortable. It’s not in a good way though. Despite being miserable when you work, you’d rather stay because at least you know what to expect every single day. There are no surprises.
Even though you don’t want that to be your future, there are no unknowns and no chance for failure so that keeps you stuck there.
As humans, we don’t like change.
Think about when you go to your favorite restaurant. If you’re like me, you probably don’t need to look at a menu. There might be two dishes that you always decide between. You see other things on the menu that look good but you’re afraid to try. What if you don’t like it? What if it’s not as good as your favorite meal? Then you think you’ve wasted money and you will regret ordering it.
So you keep ordering the same meal every time. You know what to expect. There are no surprises.
But how did you discover that you love that meal? Before you ate it, you had never tried it. Even if you tried it based on a recommendation, you still took a risk to try it.
You know you liked it only because you tried it.
How did you discover that was your favorite restaurant? You can’t call a place your favorite restaurant if you have never tried it. You had to give it a chance. Maybe a friend recommended it, you read a review, or you drove by it one day. You eventually made the choice to try it out.
What about the dishes you know you don’t like? You only know what you don’t like by trying it. You can assume you don’t like a certain food but you won’t know 100% sure unless you actually try it.
My wife loves eggplants. She could eat it every day. I don’t like it and I know cause I’ve tried it many times. I can eat a bite it if she orders it, but I’m not going to order it and I definitely don’t crave it.
There’s a drink I thought I would hate, but now I love it. Almost every day I have a cup of coffee with butter. That might sound disgusting and I used to think so too. Years ago I kept reading about Bulletproof coffee and had friends post about it on social media. When I read that butter was in it, I thought that was the grossest way to drink coffee. I love coffee and butter but together sounded terrible.
I used to drink my coffee with lots of sugar and cream. I hated black coffee. Thought it was too bitter so I needed it to be creamy and sweet. I mainly drank instant coffee packs. Just pour the pack into a cup, add hot water and finish with sugar and cream. I drank coffee like that for many years.
Finally after more friends kept writing how good their Bulletproof coffee was, I decided I was going to try. The curiosity killed me enough that I needed to know for myself what it tasted it. I didn’t want to keep wondering.
I bought unsalted grass-fed butter (unsalted is important. You don’t want salted butter). I made a cup of coffee using an Aeropress which Bulletproof coffee drinkers recommended. I poured the coffee into a blender and added a small slice of butter.
I remember taking the first sip and thinking this was the best coffee I’ve ever had. It was so good! It was creamy and I couldn’t taste the butter at all. I did not expect that. That was 2016 and when I make coffee at home that is how I drink it. I could drink it every single day.
I would have never known how good it was until I tried it. At first I thought it was the most disgusting combination and couldn’t understand why people loved it, but I finally got curious enough to try it for myself.
I didn’t mean to talk that much about my coffee but I wanted to make my point.
Trying a new coffee and new restaurant is easier than trying a new job I understand, but even when it comes to trying new drinks or foods, we’re resistant to it.
We are so set in our ways. We don’t like the unknown. We like what we know. We could try something different, but what if we don’t like it. Wondering like that makes us stick to our comfort zone.
Trying a new job is scarier. You think about the unknowns. You play the “what if” game. What if you don’t like it? What if it’s worse? What if you co-workers and boss are just as evil?
Then you decide you would rather stay where you are, even though you hate it, because at least you know what every day will be like. You feel stuck like you’re in prison.
By also staying you’re protecting your ego because you also won’t face possible rejection. Also right now you have a job, but if you quit to find another job, you don’t know how long you will be jobless for.
Imagine Yourself One Year From Now
It could be about your current job or just think about the life situation you are in right now.
It’s been a year and you’re still working at the same job. One year ago you hated it and wish you could find a new job, but you were scared. One year later and you feel the same way. You didn’t find a new job because of fear. You didn’t even try. Nothing has improved in your job. The work is still unfulfilling. Your boss treats you like crap. You dread going into work.
Your life hasn’t change either. You have the same daily routine. You think about what you’ve done in a year and you can’t think of anything that you’re proud of.
You’re more upset at yourself because it’s been a year and everything is the same.
That sucks doesn’t it?
The good news is that one year from now hasn’t happened yet. It doesn’t have to be like that, but if you choose the current path you’re on now, nothing will change.
If you choose to do nothing, there is 100% chance that you will feel the same way one year from now. You will have the same feelings about your job and life. Your level of unhappiness will be the same if not worse.
How has the waiting and hoping for your life to suddenly change been working out so far? Not good I bet.
If you make the decision to do nothing except continue what you’re doing, then nothing will change. I’m talking about your routines, habits, who you hang out with, what you read, what you do when you wake up, what you do when you get home, and what choices you make.
Are you happy with that? Is that what you want? I know it’s not.
Why It is Impossible to Fail
So let me share the other choice you can make and explain why no matter if you don’t get the result you hoped, you will still be better than the first choice.
You decide that you’re going to look for a new job. After work, you spend time updating your resume. You look for jobs online, send in your resume, fill out online applications, and ask friends and family for any opportunities.
It wasn’t easy but you pushed yourself to do it.
Before even hearing back from any job you apply for, you’re already ahead of choice A. You’re already better than those other people that do absolutely nothing.
You’ve been searching. You updated your resume. You actually sent it. You’ve filled out job applications.
Even if you hear nothing back from ten positions you applied for, you are way ahead than all of people who hate their jobs and do nothing about it.
You might be wondering, “But Benny how can I be doing better even if I didn’t hear back from ten companies I applied for?”
It’s because you’ve at least given yourself a chance! You’ve taken action. You’ve gotten out of your comfort zone. You’ve done something. Taking no action means absolutely nothing will change.
An example is a guy who goes to church every Sunday and prays that he will get a new job. He tells God that if he gets a new job, he’ll be so happy. He will come to church every Sunday. He will be a better father, husband and friend to everyone in his life.
Every Sunday he goes but the more he goes, the more frustrated he gets. Why hasn’t he gotten a new job? He’s been going for a year. He prays so hard.
Then one Sunday he goes to church and asks God what more does he need to do. Why hasn’t God answered his prayers?
Then a big voice echoes through the church and God says, “You have to actually apply for the jobs!”
This is the same in life. You can hope and pray, but you’ve got to do something about it. No amount of praying alone is going to change you.
Even if you apply for ten jobs and all ten reject you, you are doing better than the person who doesn’t even try.
I know rejection hurts. I know it’s frustrating to keep hearing no.
At least rejections get you closer to a yes. It gives you an opportunity. You’re also getting feedback which will help you improve. You might need to change your resume again. You might need to practice your interview skills more.
Let’s go back to applying for jobs. Imagine you get an interview for a position. They hire you. You start your new job. You’re excited. One month into it your feelings have changed. The hours are long. You’re not being appreciated. Your boss is just as mean as your old boss. You don’t know how long you can work here.
You certainly thought it would be better but it’s not.
Does this mean you’ve failed?
Absolutely not and here’s why.
Didn’t you hate your last job? You did. So you’re back at square one. You could be at your old job and hating it, but you’re at this new job and hating it.
(I’m not saying that you will not like your next job. I’m just giving an example.)
You didn’t know you were going to not like your new job. You couldn’t predict that. You are not a failure.
It’s not a failure if you learn from it and find the positives.
Some positives are that you actually got hired. Before you thought no one would hire you, right? You thought you were too old. You thought you lacked the skills. You thought weren’t qualified. That was all in your mind though and it clearly wasn’t true because you got hired.
Another positive is that you took control of your life. You hadn’t done that in years. You did something about a problem in your life. You figured out what you needed to do and you did it.
Seeing it this way does not make you a failure.
Now let’s imagine that this new job is good. It’s not your dream job, but it’s much better than before. You are less stressed. You don’t wake up dreading to go to work. You like your new co-workers. You’re not making as much money as you your last job, but you’re much more happy.
This outcome is not possible without taking action. Remember doing nothing is going to get you nothing new.
When choosing to find new job, yes there’s that chance your new job will be the same, but there’s also a chance that is can be good. That is great!
Giving yourself that chance for it to be good or even great is what you should be focusing on.
This is the same advice that I have given when it comes to starting an online business. So many men and women are afraid. They’re in a job they hate but they’re afraid to start. They play the “what if” game and worry about failing and what others will think.
I tell them the same thing. They can spend the next year doing nothing except continue complaining about their life. They’re guaranteeing that life will be the same in a year.
Or they can choose one idea and start. They learn how to start, they put what they learn into action, and they’re committed. You cannot fail if you try.
Life is Too Short to Be Doing Work You Hate
This is what I said to myself. I needed to stop complaining and waiting for changes in my life and start taking massive action.
Life is too short to wake up unhappy and go to bed unhappy.
Life is too short to not live the type of life you want.
Life is too short to be doing work that is slowing kill you on the inside.
I hope you have a new perspective on how to see the choices that you have. I know making the choice you want is scary, but what’s worse than choosing a new path is staying where you are right now and not doing anything.